I'm traped in a place
A place full of confusion
Observed by a demonic face
Conflics with an illusion

Traped at this place with many scars
Living without conviction
This space, with dull stars
This place full of suspicion

Traped at this place and it's hate me
Can't break out of those dark memories
And never will be free
Pictures in my head of those black stories

Traped at this place without hope
A place where I'm alone
This is a place I can't cope
A place, where I breake under the weight of a stone

Traped at this place where I'm lost
It's a place of gloomy fog
A place never endless darkness crossed
This place with an invisible lock

Still traped at this place that I know
This place is me
This place is my foe
This place of broken dignity

There was a princess
lost in and dazed by springtime sweetness.
Picture perfect gowns and rolling meadows,
In her Kingdom
Spring went on and forever.
People wished they lived at such a place,
evergreen flowers and the youth of nature.
Wished they could experience it all.
But the princess was locked inside her palace,
woe the young woman couldn't touch the flowers.
She sat there in her gloomy chamber,
looking outside to the greenest grass.
She was sad and numb but she danced in her room,
wore spring gowns for there was spring at her heart.
She breathed in spring air from within the cold walls,
An ever longing desire in her eyes to touch the spring flowers.
Little does she know for she is spring Herself,
So she touches her heart.

Singing by the wayside
Bellowing in the trees
Lovely like a turtle dove
Lives my hopes and dreams

Far away in the mountains
Buried in a box
My hopes and dreams lie dormant
Gated by the locks

Singing hallelujah
To the once gorgeous mural
Can't distinguish paintings
From extreme peril

But the hopes are beautiful like oceans
And they look like stained glass
And although they might be oblivious
They smell like cut grass

sometimes i wonder if i‘m just another someone
stepping into another someone’s footprints
a placeholder for a someone you can‘t let go
even though the years have passed
and the people have too

i compare myself to a someone who is worthy
of poetry,
of words so beautiful and soft,
i can‘t fathom you thinking them about another someone,
me

it is not about that, i want to deny
speaking the lie so softly to myself
because i keep wondering if you think about me
the way you think about her
if i‘m worthy of colorful words and shiny metaphors
or if i‘m just another someone
who‘s stepping into another someone’s footprints
if worlds we spun and lives we lived aren‘t enough
compared to the someone who got away

i keep wondering if you think about me
the way you think about her
if i‘ll forever just be someone who isn‘t her,
who‘s just enough,
just isn‘t her

a placeholder

i wonder if one day
a someone will return to you
and i wonder if that day
my passing will leave footprints too

Now you don’t love me as I envisioned,
caged by walls of quiet restriction.
I sought you even when you were two feet away from me, but that person is missing
your soul is unreachable, I call, but you don’t listen.
Now my heart is full with incision, the pain has thickened.

I once saw you in a way beyond the vision,
hold you tight until your pain was ridden,
grasped the real meaning of your words with concision,
I was the ocean where you floated, safe from submersion.

Why did you choose me, show me rainbows when there was no rain?
Unveiled the darkness and the depth that I maintain,
Sheltered my fragile world, made it my domain,
Understood my thoughts without the need to explain.

Now you’re gone, and I’ve returned to my old ways,
Wandering the streets without a destination,  
Living in a world in my mind of my creation,
Searching for salvation in a fractured imagination.

So on the ground, I lie,
Lost and drifting far astray.
Life moves on, slipping away,
On fleeting lust, I rely,
Wishing for my soul to stay.

The lump in the throat,
Face scrunching,
The face narrowing,
Of pain
Of love and loss
Giving Grace a chance to roll down unimpeded.