Lord, My Lord you have forsaken me
You have rejected my prayers
And laughed at my tribulation

Lord, Lord you saw everything
Yet you sat there and watched
With your wine in the holy grail

Lord, I have lost my faith
You are not benevolent
Those verses spoke lies

In the brink of death it was not you that I saw
But it was rather the devil that comforted me
Yet I was still loooking for you

You have abandoned me, in my isolation I've lost my sanity
Hatred became my dearest friend
Grievance was now my lover.

With this I no longer knew nor understood my self
I was now torn between praying or dying
Would I go back to your arms? Or continue my resentment towards you?

So I guess you going to improve
Yourself....

Leave me here all alone

With no one to talk to


I guess with no hesitation no incineration.... how I feel at the moment......  I am in so much pain......

I do not know the name of a pain killer decrease this pain....


So I have no other choice just to stay here and drink my sorrows away.....


I am starting to think this is starting to become my past time.....


I can hear the bottle calling me from a drunken state.....


It's said take another sip you know you need it won't hurt anybody.....


I reach for the bottle pour the the liquid in my cup.
I saw a reflection what I am becoming
In the liquid...... of darkness .......

Because  I Feel Like These walls closing in on me and crushing Me slowly.....



I tried to run to the exit to get to safety


But it was a dead end

I had no other choice just sit there and wait for the end........


But the end never came.....



My reality is starting to bend.....



The choices I have made in this life starting to haunt me in my dreams ....

Below these selfish actions . ....

I have committed.....

I did not commit treason .....

I committed several crimes


To the people around me.....



In my lifetime



Drowning in self pity


Wondering if it will ever end......


In this tunnel of misery.....


Sadness is all I see.....


All problems and issues inside my head


The blood I bleed is flowing through me like a fish in the sea

So I think I'm going to take another drink....

Because that's what the doctor ordered.....

Because the doctor always knows what's best.....

He said Being sober is not an option....


So I continue to drink.... in till I feel numb......


So I cut my self to see if I still feel anymore

And the blood drips like candle wax on the bathroom tiles .....

So I dwell on my past and can't look towards the brighter future of tomorrow

Because the sun does not shine here

Because the ground I walk on is broken and cracked and irreplaceable

I had a doctors appointment I told him I was quite not feeling right and I felt so wrong so he said my recommendation is go see giggles the clown in the circus he was in town he will cheer you right up but what he don't know is I am the clown is me and quite depressed and had a frown

Because I ran out of jokes to tell

All I can tell now is sad jokes because I'm a broken man ......

All dressed in all black....

Which is not even fun....

So till this day I prepare the noose to end it all and call it a day to forget everything....

So goodbye cruel world I will not miss you ....

this whole world is like a pit
by your side, i'll find a way

prosperin' in times of sadness
people are loaded with madness
questions in their eyes, a quest
by your side, i'll be blessed

lord, i wanna be good, so good
lord, i wanna die in the hood
baby, take a trip with me, soul dealin'
we were sick, now got feelings of healin'

don't get me wrong, don't tell it everybody
yet i'm not flawless, a human being, a body
lord, i wanna be good, so good
lord, i wanna die in the hood

lead me through the valley of my fear
lead me through the valley of my tears
o lord, holy almighty, you sent me milly
do i deserve her? am i worthy?

ya know me, a friend of forties, a slowie
fan of bowie, jeezy, straight up deezy
i don't respect the "i", but my woman
o lord, holy almighty, you sent me milly

the beginning of a journey, the winning
just the beginning, i'll be fightin' waterfalls
all in all, i'll crush the chinese wall to be
with you girl, not my new girl, but my true girl

funky like a whirlwind, my head is spinning
people waitin: what about him, ain't no sinnin'??
don't have to to do that, cause i am tru dat, so in it
my head is spinnin', lord i wanna be good

i wanna live and die in the hood, maybe in the woods
you sent me milly, this is not to be misunderstood
embers in her eyes, and a nice-hearted smile
lord, do i deserve her? am i worthy?

ya know me, a friend of forties, a blowie
o lord, holy almighty, please bless us...