.................................................................­.......................................................

        ­                          lost in midnight madness
                                         I can hear the clock
                                                  tick tock
                         A battle against the voice in my head

           "Don't go there”
                                                          ­                                  
                                                                ­           “But it’s time”

           “You’ll be fine”
                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                     “Lose your mind”

                                 A breakdown of a different kind
                                    an insomniac with no reason
                                                    or rhyme

            “You’ll be fine”

                             I’ll only sleep when the sun wakes up

.............................................................­...........................................................

Held back so many tears, I'm afraid to cry.
I might drown in the overflow of pain I've hidden deep inside.
Sometimes it dawns on my heart,
making it beat unkind.

My lungs start to quiver,  I'm dying on the inside.
Held back so many tears, why do I even try.
Been battered by this world and my thoughts,
maybe it's time.

Let it all go.

Dissolve in yourself.

Tired of reading the world and trying to figure it out.
I just want to sit and breathe, and be myself.
Without worrying that this chair might not actually be a chair.
Can I just be ?

Can I just exist without anxiety ?
I fear this world,
this big scary world.
Having a hard time trusting this reality.

My vision goes blurry from the insanity,
but i blink it away and swallow the cry.
Knowing that one day it will be alright.
One day I won't wake up scared to face this sentence.

Truth is I'm all alone but I am completely surrounded by life.

It was you. It always was you.
In all my poems, all my yearnings
Every dream, every cry-rising-at-two-in-the-night
You were my weakness.
A negative impact.

Writing is my outlet,
My emotions are the charger.
I am an old Nokia.
I have endured pain
And hardships in life.
I have watched everyone
Else advance while I am
Left behind.
Everyone remembers me,
But no one really cares anymore.
Everyone knows who I am,
But no one wants me.
I'm no longer good enough.

It's been a year
Since you broke me
The first time.
Yet, your expresso eyes
Are still the only ones I
Want
To see past the fog of
mine.

I wish I could hate you
Oh how simple that would be
But I can't
When the only thing you didn't do
Right
Was love me the way
I love you.

Sometimes..
I am too needy
Too dependent
Too emotional

Sometimes..
I am too kind
Too vibrant
Too delusional

Sometimes..
I am too intrigued
Too clingy
Too infatuated

Sometimes..
I am too bold
Too honest
Too complicated

Sometimes..
I feel alive
But most times I don't

Sometimes..
It's hard just to stay afloat

Love is like water
And I'm dying from thirst
Sometimes, just sometimes..
I want to be put first

There's a feeling some music
Gives a person in the morning
Driving to work or grabbing coffee
Early before the sun , naked
In their kitchen, in the mess
Last night was a long one, they whisper
It's the music that makes you feel -
When you close your eyes,
Singing along with your heart,
As if you had just walked into
A room full of old friends & new ones
They cheer as you walk in
Because it's been a while this time
But you haven't skipped a beat
The music plays louder in your head
You start moving them shoulders
The headache isn't so bad anymore
-You take a look of the view outside-
They 're all happy to see you
The music gets even louder now
So you scream aloud, "Oooh OOooh!"
"Oohh ohh ohhh ohhh"
You throw around the stones
And nobody gets hurt, so you dance on
Taking in the misery, glory, and truth
They all hold up their glass in anticipation
She comes up to you with a smile,
"Oh baby why you wait so long?"
You take a look around your place
Realizing how many memories we got
****, it ain't gonna hurt too bad