I could see the lies in her crystalized eyes
I never meant for me to be your demise
It was only for so long I could wear the disguise
Until we broke way more than just our ties
As I watched you deteriate
There was no time to contemplate
My whole world stopped through the fear of fate
Soon as I grasped what was happening
It was way to late!!

You saw inside me
And you did not turn away
You knew me
And yet you stayed
I cannot accurately describe
The way in which you saw inside
You opened up my chest
Found the story I was writing inside
But instead of reading it through your eyes
You found a way to read through mine
And feel every emotion I had put
Into the pages, feeling with me
And you read through the depths
Studied each page
But you did not turn away
You said you wanted to stay
And read the rest
As I wrote it.
    ~O

Nowadays
my heart grows
a little heavier
everytime
I see you post
on social media.

Didn't get a chance to say sorry for the late *** texts last night.

I get a few drinks in me and I start thinking and then want someone to talk to.

I don't talk too often and keep things buried.

If I don't talk about things every so often I hold it all in and explode later.

I don't like exploding.

So thank you for listening and sorry for being an inconvenience

For the first time
In a long time
I cried.
I cried myself to sleep
And once I was done
I cried again
And again
Until I had no more tears.
It felt good
And bad.
And now I feel like
Crying.

And here I sit
in this old restaurant,
-- i wonder what history this table holds
eating food gone cold.

It's 10 til close
and I'm that *******
who refuses to leave.
-- they wonder what i'm avoiding by being here

My eyes glued
to a laptop I can't read,
they've long glossed over,
and I came here to work.
--i wonder if they watch and ponder me
I should probably go

All I can think of is sleep
but I flinch at the thought of
what lies behind closed lids.
-- they wonder when they'll get to go home
10 minutes have passed

2:17 PM.
It hits me, I'm late.
2:17 PM - 2:18 PM.
My heart begins to ache.
2:19 PM .
I realize my life is over.
2:20 PM.
I gaze through the car's window into the sky.
2:20 PM.
I question my entire existence.
2:20 PM.
A tear escapes my eye.
2:20 PM.
Driver asks what's wrong.
2:20 PM.
"I'm late, again." I say out loud.
2:21 PM.
I realize I'm actually 3 hours and 39 minutes early.
2:22 PM.
My heart continues to ache; my life isn't over. Ugh.