Every night,
we were skin on skin,
soul on soul,
pain on pain.
I only knew him through heavy breaths
and vulnerable ***,
but I still let him slip away.
It hurts to say,
you can know someone so intimately,
from head to toe,
yet be blind to the emotions behind
every kiss.

But I should have saw his downfall,
because happy people don't
show up drunk at 3 AM,
begging to be touched,
begging to feel alive.

LET ME DROWN IN
MY OWN SORROW
YOU DO NOT LOVE ME
THE WAY I LOVE YOU
AND IT KILLS ME
AND I'D RATHER
DROWN
IN MY SORROW
THEN BE KILLED
BY THE ONE
I LOVE SO VERY MUCH

Seeking those lonely ones,
Every step watched, *dark shadows hidden,
Ritual of the **** *planned, prepared, precision,  
Is the key to the departing of life,
All will fear that moment,
Looking behind as well as in front,
Kill or be killed,
Is the reaction to that moment of a death,
Life is in their control,
Let the blood seep,
Every moment is a last lingering  breath,
Right now you realise your **time is up.

Hope and Love

I felt myself dying slowly because of love and hope. I gave you everything, but yet I get nothing except one thing. That one thing you gave me was hope. Everyone says hope is the best thing that can happen, but for me it was the worst. It was the hope you gave me that ended me like this. Love and Hope go together just like us. You can't have one without the other. It is the hope that cut me but the love that killed me. It was the hope you gave me that I took gladly and the love I gave but wasn't enough. So in a way it is my fault for having a crush on you, but in reality I loved you. But saying that to myself was going to **** me faster than i could bear. so before she dies she wants to say that she loved in her own way. the way that hope and love were her undoing, but she would do it again for the hope and love you gave and she took slowly until she said these words i love… and then she was gone.

The time seems frozen,
Or maybe it was stolen.
This can't be true,
Do I really have to lose you?

The car was crashed,
The time just passed.
His face was bloddy,
And a little bit muddy.

I saw the blinking light,
Told myself "it'll soon be allright."
The other car was lying on the side,
I heard them saying that somebody had died.

The time seems frozen,
Or maybe it was stolen.
This can't be true,
Do i really have to lose you?

My lover he quietly mumbles in pain,
"It feels like I have been hit by a train."
Thank god, he's okay.
I thought that while they carried him away.

Then I heard  somebody say,
"Is the woman over there okay?"
Everyone turned and stared,
At the woman, who was laying over there.
I turned my head too and felt a chill,
Because I was the one who had been killed.

The time seems frozen,
Or maybe it has just been stolen.
This just can't be true,
Did i really have to lose you?

Ashen faced, slumped there,
Clutching a crumpled
Brown telegram
No words she uttered
No tears, fell from those brown eyes
The words on the paper
Lodged in her throat
K I A
Blocking a silent scream of anguish.
She felt her fingers open,
The impersonal note dropping to
The cold stone floor, making no noise
To disturb the silent cry locked within her.
........
In the years and decades that follow
All that she could remember
Was the dreadful silence, of
The painful scream locked within her,
On the day she lost her sweetheart.

I did not know
Back then
What you wanted
I watched as you
Had your mind twisted
By the things you saw
On a computer screen
Things you wanted
Me to see too
Me to do to you
But I couldn't
But I let you
Keep watching that screen
And I know
I should have stopped you
But I couldn't
I watched as you
Fell further
Deeper in the darkest
Parts of your mind
I wasn't strong enough
I could've stopped it
But I couldn't
For fear of losing
Another friend
For fear of making
Everything worse
I will always
Blame myself
For the state
You're in now
And the state
You put me in
Because I could've stopped it
But I couldn't
Risk the one constant
That kept me
From going mad
From hating myself
From hurting myself
From killing myself
But I was wrong
You were the constant
That made me
Go mad
Hate myself
Hurt myself
And try to **** myself
And yet
You are still my friend
Because I blame myself
And I have to protect you
Because I'd never
Forgive myself
If you killed yourself
And I didn't try to stop you

You
Killed
My
Childhood
But
I
Forgive
You
And
Blame
Me