A questionable cause,
conformed in my mind
Poisoned solutions
And pollution behind my eyes
Behind those eyes
I used to know
What I was like

A scratch to see what's underneath
A familiar smell
Of bleak recollections

Wish life repeated level headed

The devil's armada
Subliminal poison

Familiar sights,
I'm covered in bites
and the ants crawl
and the night falls.
Spring comes,
lights aspire
King's set fire
October, the time of falling
Time has no meaning, it is tainted
and our lives are painted.

A drowning person is not troubled by the falling rain
Embracing pain I've ignored far too long
Chasing dragons, suspended in denial.

I am delusional with love.
Bruised, eluding these illusions.
Cling to what feels safe.
Cold, calculated; Jaded smile.
I'm hiding behind it all my nasty habits and the tragedies of my past.
A mystery, or just a loser encased in egotistical gluttony?
Can you find me?

i wish youd hurry up and hate me
i just want you to degrade me
im tired of waiting
i feel like im deteriorating
across the bedroom i see your eyes dilating
but im just spacing
i should feel elated
but all i feel is jaded
as i lay here stark naked
all i can think about
is you leaving for college
while im left here, looking for solace

i knew what i was getting into
so why do i want to miss you?
you were supposed to be a distraction
how was i supposed to know my heart would have such a reaction?

I have this feeling that I wanna go home,
But I'm in my room
I have this feeling that I am not where I am supposed to be
But this is where I'm told to be

sweat dripping from my thighs
grey tank glued on me
i still got you on my mind
the world ending right before my eyes
murders crying wolf
my generation getting gassed and kidnapped
in the streets of LA, MIA, NYC, BA, CIN
drowning my days with tyler, the creator
humming to me
hoping to feel something
the way you used to make me feel
when we parted ways until our next life time

politicians hungry to violate civil rights
black, brown, trans
manifesting it in their dreams
they have it written in human blood
without a mask on to shield them
from the disease that is their greed

my perception jaded
my thoughts paralyzed
my body aching
might hit that pen
can’t even pick up a pen
having more time than my 20 years of existence

Who you used to be
Is between the cracks
In the cushions of your mind,
And at night when you need it
Reach down underneath it

Grab her hand and dig her out
She asking you how things turned out.

Who we used to be,
What we used to know
And see
Is a lesson for who you need to be.

Don't be afraid to ask,
Who you thought you lost.

What exactly
is the point
of all this?

To eat
To sleep
To ****
To work
and repeat
for
the following days

The occasional smile
to break the mundane

The daily monotony
is but a realization

So we sleep
we sleep the
nights away
and repeat
for
the following days

Wash away the days pain
with a swig of whisky

The point of
all this, you ask?

is to repeat
each day until
your final breath
depletes the
one chance
you had at
all of this…