You weren’t there
when I stood tall
in a scribbled note.

I was sixteen,
blushed naïve
with first love,
yet wise enough
for dignity.

Your “*** I’m
too busy to call”
worked for two
weeks, but intuition
spoke louder,
“He’s lying.”

With every bit of courage
a black Bic held in ink
I wrote…
          Dear Randy,
               If you don’t respond
               to this note, you’ll never
               hear from me again.
                                   Susie
The phone didn’t ring.
A letter never found
my mailbox.

As a heart does at sixteen
mine broke into a thousand tears.

I swam the river of shattering
until my spirit fell on the shore.

After being resuscitated from why,
I rose stronger, proud I trusted
the lighthouse within me and
not the tormentor who didn’t
care if I drowned.

The wind is changing.
If I start shouting,
It only attracts
Those who can't tolerate
A humble human pulse.

They’ll come, taking away my calm.
I will be forced to fight at the wrong time
I can, after all, silently feel compassion.

Decisions flow each day
From the breathing mind
The water is wasted for soulless tools,
Not for thirsty, dry eyes.

Then a sarcastic ambiguity
Touched my body
And an unpleasant shiver
Ran under my skin,
So cold,
So emotionless,
As if this muck wanted to melt
My stubborn intuition.

I can’t erase my feelings,
So, I turn my soul inside
To dive beyond this reality,
Not to betray what I believe:
My unyielding, simple sincerity
With myself.

intuition
speaks through art
speak through
your craft

and while
i change my mind
i’ll dance
as the stage fades

the stage was
always meant to
go, it was built
out of unspoken
regrets, ignored
intuition, harsh reality checks

I thought we were strangers
As much as we were strangers to
Everyone around

I thought you were just
A story untold,
A future ideal

My little self dreamt of you
Pretended you were a hero

She saw you under the bed
In the backyard
In the furled faces
Of a million African daisies

I knew you were of this
universe, well-known
But wasn't convinced
We'd ever meet in the flesh

But we've met many times
You and I

In the corner of my shoe closet
Running down that street, bruised.
We met in a cafe on Rue de Seine
On the 4-hour bus rides at 3am

We sat together, utterly content,
On the floor of old libraries
Inhaling stories and scents
Of cedarwood and vanillan

I saw you dancing
When I was dancing
Awkward nerds
You took my hand, pulling

Your kind, fractalled face
Kissed mine a thousand times
Your voice saved my life

In awe at the depth of your knowing,
I'm grateful we're still alive.

X

Kissing I slide down

over his tongue into his --


soul, and feel his fear.

Sometimes I feel
like I have so much to say to you
but you're not in my life yet.

I trust one day
you'll hear my words
not with your ears
but in your mind
and find your way to me
not by accident
but by the design
of the Causer of Causes.

When that day comes
I won't need words
I'll just hold you so tight
you'll hear every unspoken thought
through the silence
of my heartbeat.

I should have left.
That first moment,
when my heart convulsed.

But i was stubborn,
I didn’t.
I stayed.
I had to know.
I had to risk it.

The body knows,
before the mind does.

Some truths whisper first,
shatter later.