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William de klerk Jul 2019
With white knuckles wrapped round a wheel
, while I start to steer in a senseless stupor
, so I slowly start  to sink into my subconscious mind.

There I find I'm So sick of silence, that
In a demented dance with my own demons
I ask them why I won't let go of what once was.

"You drink the poison with a passion
, blurring the lines of punishment and pain
So only self hate can remain"

So secretly I shun what I wish to say so
the vestiges of  my valour can rot away in vain,
Like the living corpse that's left with
long lasting lashes as battle scars
I bare as a badge for the broken.

So in fear I flee the tormenting truth
That I now have to hear
As soon it is clear
My own web of lies led me down a road
of Slow and Selfish Demise.
This is the voice of regret acting in ones head when a person is blinded by all that makes them flawed and imperfect, instead of focusing on the good. This is insecurities personified as demented voices that demand you punish yourself.
helios Jul 2019
I keep peeling off my face and
throwing the skin into the earth
hoping the ritual of burying
can flower a new layer upon me.
All smooth and poreless.
Erased in all the ways I've been taught to long for,
yet somehow retaining features
that some ******* corporation has spoonfed
generations of us into loving.
Nicole Nov 2018
My chest aches
As tears threaten the corners of

My eyes

They're dry
Like the wind
She really damaged me

Y'know

I don't like to admit it
I'd rather just hide

The scars

Are red from scathing acid
It's not like you can see them
She didn't hit me

Afterall

We went through a lot
That's what we said

Back then

She told them
She might love

Only me

She never told
She never showed it either
I knew I loved her

More

Or less she admitted it
It feels like a curse
The people I deeply

Love

Others, too or more
Which could be fine with him
If it weren't for

Her

Inability to carry out
Multiple relationships
Or at least to care about what

I felt

Alone and abandoned
Unloved and unworthy
To her I wasn't

Apparently

She loved me more
I don't care that she never told me
Just that

She never showed me

Lasting love or compassion
Never proved that poly works
And then poly came up again

With him

I'm sad about it
The idea makes me feel broken
I'm so sorry
I don't want poly
The structure of this piece is intended so that the single lines are utilized twice, both for the line before it and for the one after it.

Polyamory was really freeing for me at one point, but then it hurt a lot. I know poly can work, but, as of right now, I am actively choosing monogamy. I feel bad for not giving my partner the chance to experience poly with me, but I am not ready.
Butterfly Jul 2019
Slowly
Unexpected
When you thought it was over
I am afraid to say it
But my social anxiety is coming back.
I lost a really good friend because of it.
And I am so scared that i will lose someone again.
So i am fighting really hard to get over it.
But i need someone to help me.
I know I need help but the last time I asked I lost somebody who I loved.
So yeah
If anybody wants to talk, I like to listen.
Olive Jul 2019
I’m holding a shovel
But it’s not me, I yell
It’s the cloud above me
Filled with anger
Sadness
Regret
Fear
And insecurity.
The cloud is growing
Consuming my light
Digging me deeper
Into a hole of darkness I must fight
I thought I was through this
I thought I was clear
But it’s back
Looming above, right here
Stealing my energy
Filling me with doom
I can feel the tension
When I walk in a room
Others can feel this
Heavy load of gloom
I want to be free
I want to feel love
But how do I break through
This dark cloud above.
The cloud is back, and she angry.
Mackenzie Downs Jul 2019
I am beautiful.
But you are not her...
My doubts creep up.
Crocodiles from a dark swamp
“Go away.” I whisper.
I am kind.
But no one likes you as much as her...
“Stop!” I plead.
They get louder.
You will never be enough.
Not for him. Not for them.
You are a burden.
No one wants you around.
I scream.
Then...
Silence.
I am alone.
Matt Berkes Jul 2019
I wonder why
The windows weep.
I wonder will
The thunder keep
Me awake
To reap
The thoughts
Where my
Doubts steep.

Counting sheep.
I want to sleep
But I think
The windows weep
For the way
My brain will leap
At any cheap comment
That can heap
More coals
Onto my insecurities.

The water's deep
And I know
I shouldn't keep
Swimming down
But a few
Stray words seep
Into my head,
Urging me to creep
Farther and
Down here
I can't see
The windows weeping
Anyway.
Agatha Prideaux Jul 2019
Hey, you! Yes, the one who's reading this piece
You found that first line attractive, didn't you?
If not, wouldn't you have already withdrew?
Nonetheless, please keep up with my caprice

Are you perhaps interested in this?
How the words bleed out of someone's dull mind?
Or how they are delicately designed?
How delightful, what an elegant bliss!

Do someone or something interest thee?
A passion, a hobby, or a lover?
Or a secret waiting to uncover?
Let me unfold each one and set them free

Did you ever wish to read people's thoughts?
What they think or how they feel about you?
Do they look at you the same way you do?
Maybe tying unintentional knots?

Let me guess, you envy this person, right?
Despite telling yourself that you're enough?
Acting tough and yet your head's filled with bluffs
Am I wrong? I hit the nail this time, right?

Wait, maybe you're interested on how
This poem will eventually conclude, no?
But hey, the more you see, the less you know
Maybe it's better if you cease right now

Hey, why are you still reading? I said stop
Still interested on how things will go?
Hey, tell me, are you still up for the show?
Well then, be succumbed in the thoughts I'll drop

Are you interested with the writer?
Yes, with me, you didn't read that wrong, sweetie
The way I'll play with your mind, how pretty
Careful, don't let your interest wither

Hey, actually I'm now interested
With your thoughts and if you want to do things
With the consequences of binding strings
Let's take risks, with nothing prohibited

Meet me, dear, at the back of the building
Let's play hide and seek under shady trees
Catch my lips with thy kiss in the cold breeze
And let ourselves burn, our morals wilting

With all said, let me tell you this, honey
I'm willing to keep you interested
Abandon all your dignity, honey
And I'll surely keep you interested
Pentameter with an abba rhyming scheme. Talks about how our insecurities get the best of us. This poem slowly consumes the reader to the own writer's agony.
lj brooks Jul 2019
maybe i'm not special.
maybe the world is like me, in that all that they see
when they look at themselves
is folds and lines and marks-
and ugliness,
and broken hearts.
maybe it's the trust thing,
because i can't trust anyone else
when they tell me i'm beautiful
yet i can trust myself
when i say that
i'm lumpy, bumpy, gross-
and detestable,
and possibly
the most beautiful girl in the world.
i don't know,
and i can't see it.
maybe i will one day.
maybe just a little bit.
9/17/18
lj brooks Jul 2019
i want to love you
so much
but my throat pulls me back
and closes before i can get the words out.
and i want to hold you
in my arms.
we can drift off to sleep
together.
but sometimes my fingers whisper to me,
they tell me not to touch you.
i'll touch you when
your tongue is no longer bleeding
and
your skin no longer tears.
8/30/18
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