4 in the morning and the thrist for rest had not stopped its fight

I try to isolate my ears from these threatening voices at night

I suffocate my face with my hands and arms to make the place seem darker

My eyes wouldn't fall for it. It only made the sleep all the more harder

My nails clenching into my skull as I try to cope with this pain

Dear God of the heavens show mercy, my eyes are red and burning... and I'm going insane

A feud between body and mind.
The sort of which you're like to find
In psychiatrical pastime,
Resides within me now.

Who holds the bow, I do not know.
I feel them tousle to-and-fro.
Round in circles, they do go.
On, like a nursery rhyme.

Can I last their fateful blows,
Will I live in sad repose?
Time alone will tell me so.
Oh cursed, misplaced sublime!

Even lousy writing is terrific practice
Or so they say
I have been practicing
Painting ink on a page

All I can produce
Is sketchy scribble
Illegible and unintelligible
Words that I let dribble

Leaving the canvas blotched and stained
Maybe some will appreciate my thoughts
It is my medicine
From going insane.

It's 4:20 and I am wanting to drive
As far as I can with you
Spark up a blunt, forget everything
Leave behind the people we knew.

One look in the rearview mirror
We could turn our present into past
All it takes; one gas pedal
We could fly down the highway so fast.

I have lost my heart, and maybe my mind
I am crazy enough to take a chance
I do not need much if I have you
A couple shirts, and a single pair of pants.

I think I have figured it out
Put pieces together, it's true
It might sound insane, I don't care
Home is wherever, as long as I'm with you.

I blow up, looking for some sort of response that shows that my tantrum wasn't born for nothing. I don't know why I allow the poison to rip off my skin and expose my vulnerabilities and insecurities. I am trying to give him an excuse to run for the hills. Maybe if I act insane enough, he won't need to look for a reason to escape. But, he stays. Because we are both ****** up and broken. I want to inhale his scent for the rest of our broken ******-up lives.

tell me about your twisted side
take me inside your web of lies
soak me in bleach just to prove,
that i would do anything for you
tell me you wish I were dead
then throw dishes at my head

show me how broken you are,
on our first date we'll be comparing scars
show me the names you chose for every star
then we'll fill our lungs with toxic tar
tell me you're close to finding God
but you spend your days high on drugs, for you are flawed

Let me indulge in your bad habits
I'll show you all that my mind inhabits
Confess your desire to jump off the highest towers
And these confessions I will devour

take me into your darkest hour
let's listen to 90's rock while we strum guitar
strung out and on the verge of psychosis
we're both washed out
caught in each other's hypnosis

not sure who's the predator and who's the prey
but i love you more every day
if I'm crazy and you're crazy too
nothing can be real between me and you

so we hold onto the sadness and shouting
knowing without it we'd be drowning
but there's no passion stronger than between us two
and the most lonely peaks have the highest views

our music comes from broken souls
and our love, to our sadness has formed a mold ;
unable to survive or thrive alone.

Awoken suddenly,
A JOLT.
Heavy breathing,
Shaking,
Unescapable pain.
Tears flowing like a faucet.
“It’s only a dream! You are alright!”
It was too real.
I felt emotion and pain, physical pain.
I shake my head in disbelief.
That couldn’t have been a dream.
“You’re crazy!”
But the voices and the touch,
Were all too real.

© Regan