Each lie and cheat
My skin tears away.
The bruises are becoming
Noticeable.

I want to bathe in your love.
I want to submerge myself within;
feel it on every inch of my skin.

I want to roll around in your love.
Just as we did on our sheets the night before;
feel it move around me, with you.

Your love is like fresh flowers
The leaves changing colors
There is nothing more euphoric.

Remind me if I ever lose this feeling.
As you look at a face but can’t figure a name,
As soon as you remind me I’ll know.

I try not to worry about you.
our relationship was a mystery
a series of games,
trying to see who cares less,
trying to stay secret.

I wanted to love you so badly.
I wanted that to be reciprocated.
Each time hours went by
without a response
a part of me wondered
am i worth anything to you?
it was hard figuring you out
but you just didn’t care.
ignoring me for weeks on end
really made it hard to exist
knowing i wasn’t worth
the slightest bit of effort to you.
then we called it quits…


…and two weeks later you begged for me back.

now i know what i’m worth.
i’m worth my weight in diamonds.
i’m worth being excited about.
i’m worth calling on the phone.
i’m worth you telling me secrets.
i’m worth being loved.
I’m worth forgetting anyone else exists.

I will never forget what I am worth.

my eyes were opened
a genuine development
of a feeling i had only
heard about from others
i pretended time after time
to feel this feeling
but what i felt was a fraud
i did not know what
was wrong with me
or if i was incapable
of truly experiencing love
finding you was
the first time
breathing felt easier
and living was worth
being around for
but now that
i’ve experienced it
i will never be able
to lose you
or i will never
breathe again.

i don’t feel the need to impress anyone
living life worrying
that people won’t like me
will not hold me back anymore
i’m simply who i am
despite the flaws, imperfections,
and whatnot
and if anyone tries to bring it down
they simply will only fail
i am who i am
i see who i am
i love who i am
and i don’t care if you don’t
the mirror only reflects to me
what exactly i am to be.

i was a small seed
pushing my way to the surface
ready to take on the world
my motivation unmatched
eager to see what’s above
after the warmth of the sun
and the refreshing chill of the rain
my leaves began to grow
they grew quicker than the others
once the day fell to night
an intruder from the field
picked those leaves
right from my stem
****** on the blooms
spit on the soil
and gave my growing body
and nice stomp with his boots
the night felt much longer than the day
the day i spent hiding my damage
fixing my rotting leaves
with energy and light from the sun
but once the sun left
there was nothing to stop
the terror of the night.

i loved you more than anyone
i watered and adjusted our love to the sun
i watched it grow and blossom
and it only kept growing
it filled the blank spaces
it filled the emptiness
it was comfortable and safe
it was complimented and made sense

suddenly you stopped watering it
it never grew the same
i tried so hard to keep it alive
i tried to hard to make sure it was okay,
but without you it wilted.

i think you realized it was dying
you started giving it more attention
you started to try and find the right light
you bragged about it to your friends
you did everything you could.

why would i water it
why would i let it feed off my air
why would i let it occupy my space
why would i let it consume me,
when you let it die in the first place.

now there’s a hole.
in my space.
in my mind.
in my heart.
you stopped, i stopped, it’ll never be the same
unless we both care for it again.