Millenials.
The world ******* hates us.
We whine for a living
We feed ourselves with Xanax and Prozac
To remind the world that we are broken
Problem? I don't think so

We accuse the world of being awful
We accuse life, a life we have not lived yet
Of being too cruel when we are the ones
Who cut ourselves open for a heart we long to love

We look for the kiss that will heal our self inflicted injuries
Well, dear millenial, "there is no tyrant like a brain"
We will keep cutting ourselves
Keep drinking ourselves to sleep
Keep poisoning our mind with this "Golden Age Thinking"
Until we understand that
We are stuck here.

And life does not need to be good to us
Life owes us nothing.
Poetry and Paintings won't save the world.
Do it yourself

I have been experiencing
a type of bleeding
And it's not those
Monthly lady pains
Nor is it those injuries
Of open wounds or of sliced veins

But rather a cut that's
Deep within in me
Which takes root in my heart
Because ever since you left that day
My whole being was already
Torn apart

Lose your breath
Catch your fall
Only this time
Its not a close call

Fuzz begins its ascent
But gravity pulls on you harder
Level of pain is decent

The result: Torn up ligament

Painkillers intended to numb the pain
But they numb the heart from beating.

Administered to the ill and injured
Resulting in worse illness or injury.

An injury to the heart beat
To the collapsing lungs,
The vital components of life.

Without the medications,
The symptoms return
Full-fledged.

But with them, the ability
To function normally
Is absent.

The question at hand is
Whether it is better to suffer
From pain or numbness.

At eight years old
I saw my mum grow down

At nine years old
I witnessed her in hospital

At ten years old
She forgot my birthday

At eleven
I could not comprehend or fathom
The words to express
How I feel

I watched my mum blossom
Only to wilt

I could fix a summer draught
With the tears I refuse to cry

At seventeen years old
I still cannot gather those words

Two weeks ago I got in an accident while mountain biking. I broke my collar bone and fractured my sternum. Abrasions covered my back, my hip had a puncture wound that turned into a hematoma and was swollen 2inches (I couldn't wear pants for a full week). I hit the ground with such force that air was forced out of my lungs and into the sack around my heart. I spent 18 hours in the ICU and three more days in the hospital after.

A long time ago I crashed. I crashed after you left. My ribs were caving in and making it hurt to breath, my cheeks burned, I swore to god my heart was never going to be okay again. The pain in my chest was incredible. The worst pain I have ever felt was when you left.

I flew over my handle bars two weeks ago and rolled down the mountain and still your absence hurts me more.

This summer is going to be amazing.
After the terrible year I've had,
The terrible mistakes I've made,
The money wasted and the guilt
Earned. It's going to be something
To remember forever.