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Ayn Jan 2020
It’s all a game of chess
you are just another pawn
We are all pawns, I digress.
Everybody is the same
Nobody is more special than the other
Not that anyone is special in this game
“The players don’t exist, mother.
There is no god, there is no satan”
A child will say this to their parent
This action was as useless as probation.
truth lain upon deaf ears, that is apparent.
We are all entrapped here, it is eternal
There is no cloud nine, it’s all infernal.
April or May 2019. Angry for some reason... I forget why. Name was taken from the song of the same name by Mudvayne.
crybaby Jan 2020
I ponder on the fictional love
that splatters on the television
as my tears spill because I will never
experience that love
I am not in a movie
Angela Rose Jan 2020
Now that I got it,

what am I going to do about it?

I can't tell him I would drop everything for him

That if I could make all of his pain go away in his whole life, I would do anything

That even if his happiness doesn't see me in the picture I want it for him

That he could stop talking to me for days and days and I would still be there at his beck and call when he decided to reach out

So I retract and I smile when he reaches out and I laugh when we chat and I shy away when we are together

But my heart yearns for his.
Van Xuan Jan 2020
They said that when one reaches midnight
They always express their deepest feelings
To someone they really love...

I'm really afraid of this time
Because whenever I reach midnight
The feeling of bitterness will show

The bitterness of being left behind
By the girl that USED to be my
EVERYTHING
All of the old times, they have this kind of sheen to them,
I just read in a book that memories will continue to come back to you,
And what I thought was, they might be gone forever one day,
And then on the next page I remembered a time at a cinema with a friend or two,
And it had that sheeny coat to it on the outside,
It’s just a memory but I remember feeling like I felt, subtly alive
And I know there were times I felt empty and not there,
But looking back it would probably still feel the same,
Right now I’m not dissociating but I don’t see how things can live up to memories,
I don’t want to think of them but
All I want to do is to remember,
To never be able to forget
But I know memory is flimsy and unpredictable,
I don’t think many can remember forever.
You know when you remember times when you kind of felt like: “yeah, this is life and right now even if it’s hell sometimes it’s basically okay”?
imara Jan 2020
This assignment is the worst.
Let me tell you how I spent the past few days contemplating whether or not I had ever truly loved.
Let me tell you how I tried to spin strangers into metaphors-
Likening their veins to spiderwebs and eyes to oceans and cringing at the sound of a language I had abused into making meaning out of things that didn't really matter.
Now I know you said, "love doesn't have to be romantic."
It can be platonic like Batman and Robin or bordering animosity like Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus, but I know that's not what people want to hear,
And as a person who lends her ear to the universe and knows that even the Big Bang could dissipate into a whisper amidst all this noise, I wanted to be worth listening to.
I wanted to tell a great love story, but I cannot even begin to fathom what it means to open up your heart wholly and freely-
To tell the castle guards to pull down the drawbridge and cross over to the other side.
The weather must be nice out there.
Perhaps the sun is so warm it could kiss your skin, and the wind so full of life it could carry you away if you let it.
If you let it breathe it could bring you to your knees, and isn't that what love is supposed to do?
Send you chasing hurricanes, turn your world upside down, make you question whether or not a God exists because love is a force of nature- good or bad, for better or for worse.
If love is the square root of all feeling, then to feel at all must be to love.
But I am just a girl living in a hollow house trying to fathom the paradox of feeling numb, as the storm rages outside.
Let the raindrops pitter patter on.
Let the clouds rumble.
If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine-
This is the sound of footsteps.
Someone is knocking at the door.
All I need to do
is let them in.
This was the first spoken word poetry piece I ever performed in public. My professor thought it would be a great idea to write love letters and read them out loud, which I dreaded for weeks until I found myself spewing out verses at a rate I had never done before. It was magical and exhilarating, and absolutely unlike anything I had ever felt before.
Alaska Jan 2020
a mess of words, hopelessly lost
I’m sorry that we never got to fall in love.
I’d give you my heart but someone else stole it first and broke it like a stone to a stained glass window-
I’m sorry that we never got to fall in love
maybe in another life
Emily Jan 2020
thoughts rush
adrenaline kicks
heart beats
heart sinks
            down
                   down
                          down
       until your stuck in the thoughts that couldn't be
why mother?
          why leave me?
I though I was your doll.
I though I was your happiness.
instead i'm trapped.
stuck.
no where left to go.
what do I do with life now.
what do I do with no love,
no hope.
A Jan 2020
I am:
Disturbed
Cheap
Narcissistic
Selfish
Lost
Stupid
Worthless
Un­attractive
Inadequate
Boring
A mistake
Ugly
Useless
Dreadful

Maybe. But I'm still your wife. And I DO love you.
It's effortless.
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