I am not Atlas.
I can’t carry the weight the world on my back,
Watching from below as
symphonies become sorrows
And hopes become hopeless.
As hearts stop beating despite the flowing
Of blood through the veins along scarred wrists.
And bones fracture after words stab into
Discarded bodies with lifeless heads.
And maybe Atlas didn’t have this problem.
Maybe Atlas could bend his knees,
Perhaps they were sculpted to shift that way
But, even if I wished upon the brightest star
My knees would not bend at the hands of chaos.

It is always present
Dormant in my soul
Until it awakens
Seizing all control.
Crushing happiness
Infecting what's pure
Inflicting a pain
I've learned to endure.
Clouding thoughts
Enslaving my brain
Corrupting judgment
Till i feel I'm insane.
Stealing sunshine
Twisting my smile
Killing kindness
Leaving me hostile.
Ripping at my heart
With utmost aggression
It has awakened...
Hello again, depression.

I saw you
And look at you so preciously
Your my gem
My treasure
My infinity
But look at you now
You're in the middle of nowhere
Almost to nothingness
Lifeless
Emotionless
Have that man hurt you so much
That he turned your heart into ash..

I decided to take
all the hopeless love
that I have and
color my words with it.
I share it for other
hopeless romantics
like me.

Everyone seems to like
my colorful words
all about you.

Why did you bring me to earth?
To break my soul,
Stamp on my heart,
And crush my dreams?

Why don't you believe in your own daughter?
Just put her down,
Break her spirit,
Even make her lose her faith...
In herself, everything and everyone around her?

Why will you let your own flesh and blood,
Child,
Family,
Be discouraged,
Sad,
Insecure,
By you?

What are you?
What are you really?
Family don't do that,
You're not my family any more.

You don't deserve to be called my mother,
You're nothing more than a dreamcrusher...

I'm slipping, tripping-
forgotten how to stand.
Choking, drowning,
sinking like quicksand.

I'm aching, breaking-
feel my heart shatter.
Abusing, wasting,
this life, doesn't matter.

I'm failing, trailing-
always two steps behind.
Lying, cheating,
truth is vexing to find.

I'm choosing, losing-
decisions are always bad.
Longing, yearning,
for clarity I never had.

I'm falling, calling-
can no one hear me cry?
Dissolving, fading,
in the blink of an eye.

I'm waiting, anticipating-
the bottom can't be far.
Hoping, wishing,
on a lonely nights star.

I'm blending, pretending-
smiles mask the pain.
Begging, pleading,
for a day without rain.

A broken face
yet the hate 
remains. 
Countless reflections-
self inflections
of pain.
Razor sharp
jagged shards-
my soul...
shattered apart
reckless heart-
no control.
But burning tears
can't hide
what I see... 
in that broken face-
the disgrace 
in me....