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Drab Oct 28
They were on “the ground”.
In the desert….
It was cold, in a hot sort of way.
Depending on what time it was.
Wherever, "they " were.
(I, however, was in Texas)
(listening)
All alone.
At the time.
A long time ago.
I don’t remember.

.sHe wanted to change his password

TRUE STORIES……..

No governmental secrets were divulged. But sHe told me, all of them. At the time. I don't remember.
Intelligible am I of a truth that haunts me,
And seeps within every single one of my vessel,
Even my nightmare dreads my reality,
And burdens me with it's withdrawal,
So in a domain of endless sleep I sway,
Hoping for it to take my breath away,
Alas,
Conspicuous reality will vehemently say,
Wake up and slave your day away,
Hitherto,
A person like me could only be promised death and nothing more,

A breath or two maybe,

But Not the gleaming light birthed by the sun,
Only the shadows of past that eat me numb,
The tangible abhor has claimed my sight,
And I am blinded by the tragedy of what will be or what might,
I wish for life to tempt me with a fraud.
So I never look back and live My way,
newborn Aug 2023
how i wish to be a harp note in a russian symphony
how i wish to be a dragon, longer than six feet
how i wish to be the line that is on that narrow face
how i wish it wasn’t that easy to find someone to replace
me
how i wish the moon would stop and tell me the truth
how i wish i heard Jesus’s name from the mouth of you
how i wish that we didn’t have to lose some seeds along the way
how i wish the death would come fast and then be on its way
how i wish my hands weren’t so shaky when i speak
how i wish the words that slip from my lips didn’t puncture me
how i wish time could slow down just for me to catch a break
how i wish the sea would settle down when i am in its wake
how i wish i could be more
how i wish you could adore
me
how i wish this world was more forgiving
how i wish i could fly
how i wish i knew why
how i wish i would stop wishing for an end
to something that just began
been reading e.e cummings poems. they are inspiring.

there are many things we wish for that we do not have—but i am so grateful as well. sometimes i don’t know how to balance the wishful thinkings and the gratitude. if today you do anything at all, i hope you thank God or someone for the things you have, even if you don’t have it that well off, you can still be thankful for the little things :)

8/6/23
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2020
The moon hanging above is the only one who knows my pain
Listen to laughter in my mind until I go insane
Please do not let the stress consume me in a single bite
Listening to negative voice that raises almost every night
And the moon offers subtle comfort when demons emerge to play
Take a small step forward
Two back the next day
Is it my blood or am I simply too weak?
Won’t give up on looking for the answers that I seek
The world will not make it easy but I have faith I will pull through
And hopefully find happiness hidden inside too
And if I don’t we’ll at least I gave it my best effort
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2020
I did not think this day would come
The love in your eyes fades away
Would do anything to fix us
To make you stay

I wonder what you are thinking about
How you actually feel about me
I want the most to know the truth
Parts you don't let me see

I am not sure what's real or not
You are so good at telling lies
Pointless yet I am determined
To break your disguise

I love you unconditionally
Always and forever will
If you no longer feel the same
Why continue to say you do still?

If it's because you are scared of being alone
Can tell you right now you'll be fine
Many girls are just waiting for their chance
The moment you are no longer mine

And you deserve the best
The happiness you desire
Should have known that eventually
Of my foolishness you'd tire

You do more than I could ever deserve
From the start I knew
You were far too good for me
Was lucky just to be with you

I know good things never last
So I do not know why I'm surprised
Guess I was naive to believe
Feelings would never be compromised

Our love for eachother so strong
Was all I could be sure about
Despite ****** up things we endured
Connection remained free from doubt

We went through worst together
Lived to experience the best
It wasn't always easy
Relationship passed each test

Now out of nowhere **** starts to change
No reason I can find
Are you growing apart from me?
Scared I'll be left behind

I am desperate for a solution
Be what you need once more
It seems like you're ready to end it
Halfway out the front door

I love more than I ever have
The harder I try the more we fight
Can tell you're getting sick of me
I can't stop holding you tight

I wish I could behave more like her
Carefree
Down to have fun
Used to have such good times together
Seems like those days are done

Stressed under heavy pressure
Both work to lift the weight
Do my best to lighten the load
My worry makes it inflate

She may not nag
***** at you
I bet if you put her in my place
Years of games and illusions
Would not be as eager to replace

History between us hard
It's filled with so much hurt
I understand why it's nice to escape
Hang out with her and flirt

But you do not know eachother well
Hasn't seen your darker side
I'm sure she has her fair share as well
Secrets and flaws kept inside

You know inside and out
My absolute worst
Can be a lot to handle at times
I will never quit putting you first

I support whatever you pick
You want a break to see how it goes
However long you need
Trying people like shoes or clothes

I do not want anyone else
For your sake I will pretend
Don't want concern to hold you back
You are scared my heart won't mend

I deserve to be permanently broken
All the mistakes I have made
Perhaps the suffering would be gone
If only then I would have stayed

I will forever call you my soulmate
If you leave and never return
No one else could ever replace
Your touch I'll always yearn

Hopefully find your way back to my arms
The happiness you couldn't find with me
Even if I give somebody else my heart
You will always have the key
If it's me
That you don't need
Then when your eyes light up the sky tonight I know you're gonna find your way back to me
Bullet Oct 2020
Apple lights keep hurting my eyes
Street corners breaking my threads
The concrete is now heating up
The constant noise I’m hearing fades
I’m fighting dreams of other cities
This phone keeps bussing me
I feel like a ghost in my reality
I’m busy but not keeping it busy
The screen distracting me from the concrete
All I’m asking for is an everything bagel
I’m hungry and dizzy in an empire wonderland of hopeful thinking

I’m trying to speak all these lights into an existence
I’m trying to walk in the streets best for me
Apple Empire lights have my eyes awake
Sipping on juice but eyes keep sleep crawling
Keep me from breaking bridges
I want to go for loop-de-loops in a six speed
Burning at the light and time we have all day
I want to follow my dreams but in order to be successful I might have too move. But I want to better my own city. I want it to be fun at the end of the day.
As a child, I would write letters. No, I have never been a romantic, just a rather diplomatic child. I would write letters of negotiation to a friend of mine, burn them, and let the ashes be a legible phoenix to him.

As a child, I grew up writing letters. I stopped believing in the existence of phoenixes. Either that or my friend wasn’t really a fan of one. He was way older than I’d ever be, so I was sure it wasn’t a change of taste. It was rumoured that he preferred the savour of sconces, so I kept burning my letters.

As a child, I wrote letters in desperation. I learnt the fine line between a negotiation and a plea. I pleaded…I pleaded a lot in my letters. Do you think dried tears on paper burn too? I think my friend thought it insufficient. Either that or salt water becomes invincible above the clouds.

As a child, I wrote letters. I wrote lots of letters. I wrote letters to the only one I was sure would write back in some way. I think burning those letters wasn’t such a good idea, it made him unable to read them. Either that or he forgot changing mails was supposed to be a colloquy. He’s my friend, right? He’d have replied if he really did see them…right?

As a child, I did write letters. Then I stopped. Then, then I never wrote them again until I was forced to for grades’ sake. They are the only letters I can say I got replies to. Only difference was, for some reason, each one I wrote came back with the marks of a red pen and a word beneath it all.
G A Lopez May 2020
I can still recall
When I was young a lifetime ago
I cried over my skinned knees
Memories with my peers

Running around without footwear
Having friends that are rare
I was so optimistic and happy
Can I go back from the past? hopefully.
Katie May 2020
My mental health is not doing okay.
I’m not doing okay.
But i pretend I’m okay.
I’ll be okay.
Probably.
Hopefully.
Maybe.
I’m fine.
It’s fine.
Everything is fine.
Flowerwithabrain Dec 2019
I slip you the paper in anticipation

Does she like me?

I move in and stay up all night laughing with you

Does she like me?

You return a new piece, covered in doodles

She likes me?
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