I wonder
when I switched
into the poisonous snake
you've claimed me to be
I wonder if
I was always that way
you just helped show me
or if you were the cause
Because He tells me
that there is only good
when you told me
their was only pain,
and suffering,
and heartache, but
that didn't matter
Because I did not feel and you
were what was good for me
because
despite all the flaws you would point out
you claim that your love was
unconditional
and I  would find no one else
that would love the broken mess
that I had become
and when you shattered me more
in hopes of keeping me
in your little box
He stormed in
and let me out
and waited
patiently,
until I was ready
to accept his
type of love

Until I met you, I had no idea that someone like you existed
My hopes had all dashed away and I grew jaded
It felt as if I were the only *** without a lid
And so I sat on the stove top all alone with nothing but emptiness
Entering my stratosphere and as I watched
Other pots with their lids be conjoined
A rage filled with blistering pain filled my insides

To lay here beside you I would’ve never imagined
Finding home within your arms and heart
Never did I believe I was worthy of such a love
Yet you fill me up every day and nourish
A heart that was so vastly hungry for affection

Not sure what would ever happen
If you left this poor soul behind
I waited too long to find you
Too many winters afflicting my soul
Your warmth my only salvation

I would rather have a panic attack in the dark room than be alone at home in my own zone depressed on my phone. Then staying up an insomniac, at the park, rising gloom, falling rain, feeling pain, like it's all I ever known.
Attempted suicide, but then revived, choking phlegm, thought I died, I was there, in the hospital, bare naked riddled with needles, poked and prodded, dead skin rotted, almost cried, but I fought it.
Now I knew, I had to go home, and to school, to ******* and moaning and drama, and talking, and floating back to normal society, choking on tears in sobriety, kind of wish I stayed dead cause she gives me glee, ignore what I just said and don't pitty me, as I escape again to a place you flee, when the lit fuse of my bomb rapidly, rushes towards the end, she's gone and done it again, she's wrong and loving other men, I'm right here and paying amends, for **** that I never did, all I ever wanted was to please a kid, with a rotten heart, that was full of sin, I hope the goal was never to win, in this game of life, strife ridden knife stuck on skin.
What doesn't make sense is how she makes me so happy, cause I'm dense headed every time she calls me pappy, or *** or says, "I Love You", it was two months of a misconstrued, confusing relationship thing, now two months without it and it ******* stings and aches when I'm not around her, I want to love her, I want to ground her, ram her, straight into the floor or wall so maybe she can feel my pain, bash her head in a door and make her choke on a wedding ring, while I smoke **** out her mouth like toking while she's bleeding from the throat down to the feet and... in this verse I just finished a talk and I understand that I've been gawking nonsense all along and she isn't with me because she doesn't want to hurt me, but sticks by me because she really likes me.
I feel fine now because I've put the puzzle pieces together and I've calmed down now cause I think I understand Heather.
That's what I'll tell myself as life goes on, living in the prison cell of pain and beyond.

Hopefully, we’re deeper than the screen we’re staring at.

A half empty vessel I make noise,
half fool trying to man up and stop boy,
eating plenty but giving few.
know how to be filled,
not how to pour,
know I have wings,
though afraid to sore.

My house was swept but I did not shut the door,
when they were chased they came back with more,
now I'm crying back to sender,
when I opened the door for them to enter,
may we treat our temples with reverence,
masterpieces sculpted from Genesis.

Pain was promised but so was joy,
moths and rust shall not destroy,
the beauty that is beyond fasting from bacon,
the call to a kingdom that can't be shaken.

There may be reason to be in fright,
but he calls us to be salt and light,
ask for strength to fight the good fight,
to mortify the flesh to be filled with Christ.

May we be okay being perceived inferior,
to know there's treasure in our interior,
to learn to find joy in shadows,
to know that only he is hallowed,
let us learn to serve in love,
fix our eyes on things above,
working out in fear and trembling,
God will bring it to an ending,
may condemnation not refrain,
the grace that makes us born again,
when all our deeds are purged by fire,
may we live for a cause that is so much higher,
may it truly be found that we loved The Messiah.

It's time to seek the ancient paths,
to tread along the greener grass,
for time is short,
and life is faster,
may perfume pour through our cracks soon after,
may the Potter jar us like alabaster,
to be worn and wasted by a wicked world,
to replace the fragrance of sin's foul penalty,
to lighten what was once so grim,
to know that suffering will make us more like him.

It's time for speech to turn to traction,
to be whole when feeling fraction,
to be simple and true,
to trust in the dark the one who made hue,
to walk by faith and hope that grace will bring us through,
seek his face when you can't recognize yourself,
he is our friend and ever present help,
he's writing our story,
we are seated on a right hand shelf,
the library of love where his presence dwells,
not by power not by might,
he will help keep us in the light.

If the King emptied himself,
who are we to be full of grief?
should troubles always bring unbelief,
don't we know the one we follow,
the joyful holy man of sorrow,
the pages in our story that none will ever see,
were authored by the one who set us free,
the message in the bottle was meant for we,
open the scrolls and pray we see,
that ours is overwhelming victory,
that we have been given mercy,
to no longer bear the weight of iniquity,
to boldly say we're free indeed.

For wretched were we and far from pretty,
naked in shame and to be pitied,
trusted in things that don't sustain,
in wisdom and teachings that bind our brain,
let's run to the name that will not fail,
the one who leads us from the prison doors,
the one who paved the streets of gold,
for all our losses sevenfold,
the one who bought us with a precious price,
the one who died to give true life,
the prince of the peace who gave us bail,
Hold fast to the truth His Word won't fail.

Sail On

And just for a moment
There was a total blackout,
Our spheres went all dark
A ray of sunshine couldn't penetrate through,
The atmosphere was misty and dense
So, we kept sailing on in the deep dark
There's a sandy shore that awaits us,
Where the sun never tires to shine
The soft winds will never go weary
At blowing your long beautiful hair backwards
Where the grains of sand will carelessly,
Yet flawlessly
Decorate your skin
As they carelessly stick
We'll make castles with shore clay,
At least better than the castles in the air
All that we'll never touch
So, we keep sailing on

Mongi C. Nkabindze

This/ you/  we/ could go in
Any direction.
But... I hope you'll/...
We'll -- write a song!