Acetic Acid*

Your effect rapid,
I'm contaminated, coated
in your acetic acid.
You have taught me
to just dip my feet,
not throw my body 
into the void
because the void does not 
always respond lovingly.

You have taught me
I love you is a trapdoor
too many fall in,
I love you is a romantic knife
with teeth,
illuminated by moonlit nights.

And most importantly,
your damage taught me
rapture and love
are *not the same.

Honestly i cried,
those feelings cut me deep inside.
I tried my best to keep you alive,
but in the end,
don't we all die?
I've thought about it a lot,
the thought of my fall,
but whenever you're near,
i can't help but want to continue it all.
You bring me such happiness and so much more.
I just wish i could do the same,
for the one i want everything for.

I just don't understand, why this hurts so much.
We're still friends, so why can't I be happy and such.
I just miss her love,
Her care,
Her touch.
Things will get better, I'm sure they will.
But for now I have to deal with this pain that I feel.
I laid awake and watched her sleep.
As she dreamt her dreams, I couldn't help but think.
I want this to last, I want this to stay.
In the future will be better, I really hope it may.
I hope one day, we can continue where we once were.
Maybe then..
I'll be able to marry her.
I nonstop think, 'can I rub her back?.. or is that not allowed because of what we once had.'
I love her to death, I've never bonded so quickly.
Her love gives me motivation, and that will never leave me.
I trust her more than anyone, I've told her things I've never told.
But for now I must say goodbye, for my heart feels forever cold.
It's not her fault, for these feelings I hold.
For I fell too hard, I am the only one to blame, these love stories I've told.
But I can't get over, how broken I feel.
I wish by each passing star, that our love will someday heal.

I waited for you to come outside,
Like I had waited for you in bed.
My hand went numb from reaching,
As you sat and got drunk, instead.

Acetone*

What a day it will be
when we'll discover that
underneath our overworn sheen
is a layer of untouched rust,
smothered with lust.

And then with a scalding cry,
our minds will shatter,
splitting our belief of love
in half, where it's always been.

We will extirpate
all our memories,
as if the stars never
decorated the sky,

And when someone
inquires why,
you can tell them what we had
was only a velleity
branching out of our hearts.

Hydrogen Cyanide*

I have no idea how it feels
to receive what I deserve from you,
no memory,
only faded dreams.

Seething over what I was denied,
I became ill from your heavy,
searing dose of
hydrogen cyanide,

And life lost its meaning
because I never learned
to pour this love I carry inside
all over myself.

Acetone*

I don't hesitate like I used to;
I know nothing of grey,
grey knows nothing of me.
You're a cigarette lighter,
your name slowdancing in my mind,
a violent waltz.

I tiptoed around you,
afraid to be set ablaze
but now my extinguisher's
not working
and I can't help but hold your gaze.

I've been told we're too young,
too young to set ourselves alight,
and too fragile for exposure.
But I also know if I'd never tried
I would have never found closure.

I hope one day when someone asks me about you, I'll laugh instead of feeling this double edged dagger in my chest.