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Ren Sturgis Dec 2023
I feel like I'm withering away in decay as the world slowly crumbles around me
I'm not the only one
Others are fading too
Some faster some slower
It's not a race against each other but against time itself
How much time do I have left to be complete
I've never been the whole puzzle just random bits and pieces
What kind of vision could I create in this chaos
A collage of eternal suffering
Or an epiphany of everlasting utopia
Ren Sturgis Dec 2023
Another night as I lie awake somewhere in between this realm and the next
I hold myself the way I've done for so long
Missing something that feels so distant yet phases in so close to reality
Dissociative dimension loading....
Physically here, mentally checked out
Overthinking taking the wheel
Not real, not real, not real
Pain, so much pain. Can't get it out of my head.
A figment of my imagination; it's clutches digging deep into my heart
Don't leave me
I'll be okay I have to be
I'm fine I promise (I'm not)
Blink away the tears that threaten to fall
Emotion consumes
You're so strong they say
Voices whisper 'give up'
I don't wanna give up
There's still so much I want to do
Please help me
I'm not strong enough, but I'm a good person I swear
Hold me I'm begging
Tell me everything will be alright
Just once that's all I need
I'll never ask for anything else
I won't be an inconvenience anymore
I don't know anymore
Let go, let go, let go
Release control
I always tend to write in the wee hours of the morning when the thoughts consume me.
Ren Sturgis Dec 2023
Break open
Soft shell echoes
Capatulted darkness
Pillowy landing
You break my fall
Caged eyes
Ren Sturgis Jul 2022
I desire to be held;
I keep pushing down the desires, telling myself the world is holding me, but we are communal creatures.
Many of us desire togetherness.
The world can hold me, but you can too <3
Ren Sturgis Jul 2022
Puppy, Play, Pet, Pleased
I sit on the floor next to you my head in your lap as you caress my hair.
So soft and pliant underneath your fingers.
I nuzzle your thigh and you cup my cheek.
"Such a good sweet boy."
I melt under your praise.
"Look at me.", and as I do you kiss my forehead, my eyelids, my nose, my chin, and my slightly parted lips.
I'm yours completely.
You lead and I follow.
Every step I fall for you.
Deeper, my heart is in your hands.
A red ribbon seems to bind us together.
Consent, Content, Connection, Calm.
Ren Sturgis Jul 2022
I dream of leathered men, I dream of you, touching me, ******* me, loving me.
Hold me in your clutch, dominate me, make me yours.
Your voice like velvet, and your body like diamond.
Cut me, mark me, I am your canvas.
I am your art.
The cruelest artist with a delicate touch.
I beg of you.
I whimper in pleasure.
More please.
"Be a good boy for me" "yes sir" on my knees. Complete submission.
Take me to space.
Make me forget all that came before you.
Ren Sturgis May 2022
I create with Earth,
my pliant hands in her soil.
Seeds of life we sow <3
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