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Most of my time now spent thinking what might have been If she were here with me still how different life would
be
I wouldn't have fallen so far from grace as have since she's been gone trying to deal with every day
survival
Fallen apart I'm constantly fighting my way back In order to cope with her loss
with every passing
day
Just becomes much harder
I guess It Is In truth that Helen and I were never meant to be apart
from each
other
It's been long time now since
I held her even longer since the last time I kissed her sweet lips and even longer since I felt like a
man
It's been a  long time since I last brushed her hair and even longer since I
made love to her for It
was then I knew I'd become the man In her
life
Johnny walker Aug 29
She was all and everything
to me I was blinded to everything except her beauty and her goodness that came from deep
within
Such loverly kind and caring person that's what Helen surely was to all that knew her I was the luckiest man for I had won her
love
Johnny walker Aug 15
And I still go to bed with Helen's perfume sprayed
on on my pillows as I fall to dreams of Her but In my dreams she's not old like me
Helen
young and so pretty just like when she was sixteen for
dreams
can't age her she walks young and pretty so free within my
dreams
save from this world that Is so full of hate that I now remain alone but she will not have have to go through the ageing process
that I'm now going through so when spray my pillows with her perfume then
again
I'll
drift off tonight to my dreams of my oh so young and pretty girl to whom I never want
to wake
from
Johnny walker Jul 26
The times I've awoken to
the morning light In a cold sweat from last nights dreams I did not want to relive not even In my
sleep
Dreams of sweetheart as
she was passing away last moments with her feeling
the grip of her hand In
mine
slowly falling away for my sweetheart was fading away from this life that we'd shared together that I now have to live
alone
Johnny walker Jul 26
Sometimes when you are to afraid of dying then you don't allow yourself to live we only live once In this life there are no second chances
I
learned the hard way through losing my wife she through mental health issues had always been afraid of dying don't think her soul was ever allowed to
live
It was never allowed to take a chance and I find that very sad at Helens funeral I chose two songs the
first THE ROSE and ended with GOOD BYE MY LOVER they perfect for the end of life together I QUOTE "A Soul Afraid Of Dying Never Learns To Live" sadly that was
Helen
Johnny walker Jul 24
The registrar final words after anouncing Helen
and I man and wife was
take good care of her she's a
good one
I already knew that but
nice to hear her say but I knew from the very first
time Helen and I first
spoke
She had a heart of gold to
kind sometimes some people would take advantage of her generosity and she would get
hurt
But when I married Helen I
made a promise to take care of her no matter what I would be there for
her
In twenty years we were together I never left her
side but life can be cruel and
the twenty
years
was all we were allocated not a day more would be granted
but In those twenty years had the time of my life In twenty years I never left her
side
Helens Incredible eyes of blue so expressive the first time our eyes met as adults  knew I was In love with
her
was not going to let Helen slip away for I known Helen from childhood but fate had decided we'd not get together
till
we were much older that we had to go our separate
ways make our own mistakes before fate would
show
Its hand again and allow us to meet again for we were no longer children
for
Helen had turned Into a beautiful woman but Helen still had those
Incredible eyes of blue could tell all with just a glance they could melt
your
heart Incredible love that we shared and and although she gone to
God but I've never got those beautiful of blue eyes could tell all with just glance I was like
putty In
her
hands for I loved everything about her so much kindness did she have that I'll never get over Helen and those beautiful blue
eyes
Johnny walker May 22
Goodbye my love and true friend the one who stayed brave to the very end I'll say bye untill we again not In
this life but the
next
And although I her miss so
In truth I never really let her go for her spirit never left for she'll always be with
me
The bravest woman I've ever known and stayed so very true to me so blessed I've been to be her
husband
Johnny walker May 16
I touched Heaven when reaching for her I saw Heaven In everything shedid each smile each kiss I
laid upon Helen's sweet tender
lips
I saw Heaven when I
looked to her beautiful eyes the first time I'd looked Into her eyes like crystal
ball
I saw to a vision In her eyes this girl would go on be my wife I'd truly seen Heaven through this vision
In her eyes shortly after we got
married
I saw Heaven when placed  the her upon her finger the twenty years we had
together Helen giifted to me
a son before finnaly her life was
done
For my sweetheart had departed without me to the next life she had gone
ahead to light the way for
me when
It's my time I'd seen Heaven
many times through Helen's eye's
and In those years I'd touched or seen Heaven
as if through a crystal ball
so many visions through years but not once In
all that
time
was I shown a vision of how  all this would come to an end
But I still remember seeing Heaven through Helens
eye's
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