I woke up in a world I don't know
For years after my trauma I have taught myself that love is not forced space between
Is not refusing to visit
Is not a message of "I'm avoiding you because I love you"
I slowly learned affection is comfortable, hugs and kisses are small signals that life is okay
Today I woke in a world where that is no longer true
I woke to a world where love means distance
Caring means avoidance
"I love you"s can be measured by the miles you refuse to travel
Today I woke up in a world where my love language has turned war-like
Though I never thought of myself as violent
A hug breaks government mandated barriers
A kiss is now biological warfare
Today I woke up to a world where my love has been labeled terroristic
While my abuse has been labeled loving
I wrote this when the first case of Covid-19 hit my state, while waiting for the conference call to tell us if we were sacrificial or safe.