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Kyle Kulseth Jan 2019
Cold nights
               It's always Winter here.
It seems this season's stretching on all year.
               The beers are gone
               so let's get walking.
                           Grab
    your coat and let's do some talking.
Loud, through the night.
Know our strides will crunch through old snow
beneath old street signs.

                                              Best
      ­                                   bets aside,
                                    did you gamble
                                       on my days?
                               Did I waste your time?

Days come early,
nailguns out.
Walls go up and ambitions drown.
4 blocks down the street, you're screaming,
"**** the cold and this town. I'm leaving."
                     Sheetrock walls
               and paycheck borders
                     keep us pinned,
                in line, on short order.
                              Cook
                    our­ melting brains.
                        Froze in place
and broke your heart, rinsed me down the drain.

Cold nights
               It's always Winter here.
This frigid season's stretching on all year.
               The beers are gone
               so let's get walking.
                           Grab
    your coat 'cuz them ghosts been talking.
Howling each day.
Haunting all our snowbound steps and
rattling their chains.


                                          Alarms and cars
                                        and pulsing hearts.
                                               Cheapest
                                        prices paid to make
                                                our wage.

                                         The clocks in bars
                                       count tarnished stars.
                                                 Cheapest
                                         prices paid to pave
                                                 our ways.


                                              Best
      ­                                   bets aside,
                                    did you gamble
                                       on my days?
                               Did I waste your time?


Days come early,
nailguns out.
Walls go up and ambitions drown.
2 blocks down the Ave., I'm shouting,
"**** the wind and the snow that's pounding."
                     Rent check walls
               and sheetrock borders
                     keep us pinned,
                in line, on short order.
                              Cook
                    our­ melting brains.
                        Froze in place
and broke my will, rinsed you down the drain.

                                            And I'll move

                                                4 blocks

                                              next Spring...
unnamed Jan 2019
smoke to remember
                                  drink to forget
                        anxiety
late night stress
                            no cigarettes
annh Jan 2019
Like dressing up a new outfit with old favourites,
It never really works, but - boy - is it comfy!
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Do...or do not. There is no try.
- Yoda
A Dec 2018
I wake day after day with the same lingering dismay of what my life has become & of what is supposedly my fate

synthetic happiness works no longer
& I find the craving for death inside me growing stronger
old habits come again disguised as friends that like me better in cardigans that never let my scars show
this might all go away, maybe after one more blow?
songs and trees and mysteries are not enough to keep me intrigued and the bridge I walk by everyday is so appealing to take a leap and end it once & for all
The idea of living much longer makes my skin crawl
& so I am restless and I get into brawls & succumb to my sadness as it became my downfall
I can never quench it for I don’t have the gall as I hit my head against the wall

Artificial honey used to do the trick you see
a simple lick made me forget my misery
even though it sometimes made me jittery
it was also my only escape
It is my high and it leads me to my low but who cares! The tears always flow
wether I’m joyful or filled with woe
this illness sits on my shoulder like a crow
& I have to accept that I am shackled and it truly has me baffled that I can only set myself free by slitting my wrists or drowning in a sea.
Written in delirium under the effect of sleeping pills
William Murray Dec 2018
I drink a lot
Different drinks for different reasons
Different times, and different seasons.
I like wine when I want to smile
whiskey when I wish to sleep
Gin for the times I wish to forget all the dark secrets I keep.
Some nights I want to die, that’s when tequila steps in
And beer when I want to be alone with my friends.
I drink a lot
Sometimes to no end.
I drink so that I have no money to spend.
Alvira Perdita Dec 2018
old habits approach me like dealers
in the darkness. their faces hidden by shadow,
their intentions vivid as they whisper
wonderful promises of release,
of escape and of freedom.

i tell them no, push them away,
i attempt to stray towards the light.
they grab my wrist and spin me around,
holding tight as they look me in they eyes
and whisper "you're not going anywhere".

i try to hold out, but the fear is building
up inside, and i'm not sure if i am strong enough
to fight back, to win this constant battle.
i want to scream for help, i want to cry out
in desperation, but i am drowning.
Kalliope Nov 2018
All the ways I try to fill the void
Seem to make me empty

Funny how shallow needs
Create a shallow soul
I'll continue to sink lower and lower
Idiosyncrasy Nov 2018
They say it takes 21 days to make a habit
One, I found myself retracing the paths of how we used to go home on new streets and different sidewalks- left, cross, go right, forward, then left.
Two, I went to the mall to buy fleece blankets.
Three, the jeepney ride took six times longer than usual.
Four, the x-ray results show scoliosis, not fatal.
Five, my ukulele lost its cold sound.
Six, my dictionary shows two meanings for the word town.
Seven, I sang my readings to the tune of Earth, Wind and Fire's September.
Eight, "I fall for always and forever."
Nine, we had plans for breakfast.
Ten, we lost ourselves in the cast.
Eleven, I lost it when you said goodbye too quickly.
Twelve, there is a difference between truth and honesty.
Thirteen, you always started conversations
Fourteen, when did we start regretting decisions?
Fifteen, was it when you've forgotten my voice?
Sixteen, I tried to keep the little boy away from the noise.
Seventeen, I told him a story about Mars that night.
Eighteen, you said if you could **** the moon, you just might.
Nineteen, I held the hand of the little boy for a long time.
Twenty,  I ended my goodbye with his favorite rhyme.
Twenty-one, my first watch was never a time travel device.
But they say it takes 21 days to break a habit
So on day one, I will wipe the mascara off the lashes of my eyes...
Ito na.
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