I wake day after day with the same lingering dismay of what my life has become & of what is supposedly my fate
synthetic happiness works no longer & I find the craving for death inside me growing stronger old habits come again disguised as friends that like me better in cardigans that never let my scars show this might all go away, maybe after one more blow? songs and trees and mysteries are not enough to keep me intrigued and the bridge I walk by everyday is so appealing to take a leap and end it once & for all The idea of living much longer makes my skin crawl & so I am restless and I get into brawls & succumb to my sadness as it became my downfall I can never quench it for I don’t have the gall as I hit my head against the wall
Artificial honey used to do the trick you see a simple lick made me forget my misery even though it sometimes made me jittery it was also my only escape It is my high and it leads me to my low but who cares! The tears always flow wether I’m joyful or filled with woe this illness sits on my shoulder like a crow & I have to accept that I am shackled and it truly has me baffled that I can only set myself free by slitting my wrists or drowning in a sea.
Written in delirium under the effect of sleeping pills