Hey.
So, there's a thing
That's been
Eating me up inside.
Most people think that
It's a fire, or
An everlasting flame.
But...
It's not.
It's something else.
Something that engulfs me
And overwhelms me.
It's incredibly powerful.
But not in the way
That you're thinking.
It's like a leech;
A parasite that's not
Willing to let go.
Instead, it just
Gets a grip and
Holds on for dear life
Until I die...
You see,
Death is a...
A questionable thing.
Death is what
Many fear and dread.
***** to **** because
This world we live in,
More than you know,
Is broken and dead.
They say to
Fake it till you fail.
Except failure is
Not an option.
Fake it till you make it.
Except I'll never make it.
I'm already losing, and
There's no motivation
To live and to last.
Long-lasting,
Never fasting;
Always faster,
Getting stronger.
Facing cold,
Facing heat;
On the edge,
Can't be beat.
Because this life
That I live is
A struggle and a mess,
Full of pressures and stress;
Dying down,
Broken and bound.
What more can I say?
There's no direction,
Only destruction.
No brethren,
Only a burden.
It's like it's not worth it.
Life isn't worth living.
And you know,
As sad as that sounds,
I really do believe it.
I really wish life would --
-- end.
People say that it's
My pride
My self-relying strength
My mind
That's truly killing me.
And maybe,
Just maybe they're right.
Maybe it is an issue with me.
They tell me that
I can't do it alone.
But I'll do everything
In my power
To prove them wrong.
Don't tell me that
I can't do it alone.
Don't tell me that
Failure is a good thing.
Failure is an opportunity.
Failure is growth.
Failure is a learning curve.
Let me tell you something;
Failure is not an option.
For me to fail is like
Being weak and vulnerable,
Worthless and useless.
You see,
This thing that's
Eating me up inside.
Yeah, it's... Ha.
It's killing me.
No one even realizes that
One of their own is
Dying.
Drowning.
19 and barely counting.
