I came here and hoped
to find something meaningful.
I did and I didn't.
Even if I didn't find my life
I did knew something divine
surrounded my mind.
All of things, all of lives
provoked me to see
how beautiful days had been.

I stare out the window of my usual spot
Sitting here at jack, thinking for naught
In about two years i will have graduated.
Excluded from this world with which i have Become infatuated.

It’ll all be over.
And these are the best years of your life
What will i say i did, or learned?
How many important things will come to mind?

I sit Here alone now.
Suddenly feeling so alone
Both at school and home.
What happened to the dramatic final bow?

Will i feel This alone the rest of my life?
Will it ever change
Or will it always stay the same.
I feel Like I’ve been stabbed with a knife.

My future that I’ve looked forward to for so long
Only a trace, a taste, the rest is gone.
Time seems to move too fast.
Or maybe I’m just stuck in a trance.

16 years come and gone.
To do it all over again, my soul yearns and longs.
But i can Only admit I’ve done this to myself
My hiding away on the high up shelf.

I left When i got Attached,
Being able to stay is something I lack.
So yes i am Alone,
Both at school and at home.

But I’ve brought this upon myself
So I’ll deal with this hell in and of itself.

disguised as just another day in your working school life,
but this one is not the same.
this was your last first day in this town.
start to think how to say your final goodbye to your friends.
finish all your teenage petty ******* that you want to leave behind.
start to think about what you want to do for the rest of your life.
finish all your procrastinated tasks just to graduate.
everything happens for a reason but what you don't know is that you're the reason.
you are the only reason why you do everything.
you can play it off on someone around you but you know that it was up to you the entire time.
but you can't brush it off anymore because this is your final year.
that means you have to take responsibility and grow the **** up.

Attentive eyes
    and nervous jitter,
trembling hearts
await their fate

barbaric practice
of modern acceptation
fear is faced
  in university fashion

Navy blue professor,
    of conductor hands

Elation
Graduation
Ive succeeded
Ive defeated my demons
And summond the evils that pestered me
Just to **** in front  of them gleefully
Im animalistic im my celebrations
I think  i should plan a vaction
Im drunk  on the joy of succeeding
I've not just  bested my goals,
Ive superpassed them
And now ill end my day
With the widest grin

slap the box and
call me poison-us-
with fight songs,
not our trees.

The leaves fall
halo-like the root
ground angels that
they are.

Thats something
im gonna say I remember
tires, pavement and small
wet kisses.

Tired, paying and seams
of brain, hitting the floor
dancing. Dancing.

Dance, prance, stamped
on the back of my neck,
nicknamed. Self-proclaimed.

And,
I probably wont remember your name.

The game is in the tough turf,
rough birds, reads yellow on
red, branded
Crimson at birth.

I heard it the first time…
Denny Chimes. I got
soul,

but I am not sold, here.
You no arts kid.
You ***** breathed skid.
You ******* no color bid.
You wise eyed pig.
coonass roux grit rig.
pompous junk drunk jig.
keg king fit for fear fig.

God is in the pavement,
and the Bible is on my belt.

And I cant STAND the fact that
you need help.

roundin up the wheels
of my drinks in hand
till the cows don't come home.

I dont want to be alone,
sing till the loam becomes sand.
And its quick,
to fall far from plan.

You're skinny and you misstep,
but I kept the ideas on head,
not a.
I walked down that sidewalk,
liked I owned the place.

And I did,
when I was not the case…
I screamed at your window,
a few months later.

I hope you heard me.

I DONT CARE IF YOU’RE A STAR!
did you hear me?
My skin may bubble,
but its not allowed to scar.

And it doesnt
because I said so.
If I could go back,
I would heal from you.

Blue.

Loves in
two,

more
than
two…

less than two.


One.


One decision I did not make,
changed my fate.
a date.

Now labeled and baited.
again and again
and again.
Tell me of my sins.

I wanna smash that
bullet between your ears.
Its been jamming around for years.

You wanna root my fears
in what is up here,  perhaps
appears
before mirrors.

shards halfway into you,
we broke through and became one.

Tears, terrors,
and pinkie swearers before God
(waittryitagainImeanit)
BEFORE GOD…

I love you.

Above all,
I adore you.
implore you,

to see this,
in true
living
lovers.
Count my confessions
one
two
three
its too many to say
what I ran from,
but,
I can name the cracks
in the concrete
four
five
six
I didn't pick up any
thick licks of honey
ringing the horns that
sounded the years
of long bad ticks.
I don’t have
     any
new tricks
seven
eight
nine
im fine
ten
and I've hurt you again.

Thats a lie and I just might win.

sly over there, a violin of concocted *** coils
of Cmon— let me hear that again.

Your songs are lucid and the spit is acid.
Thats why I became his main assettttttttttttttt
tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
t t talk is cheap
but my body is cheaper…

You looked at me that way,
spinning my hay for whats its worth
and at least
you fed it to your horses.

everything runs its courses,
the forces
carry my wheels packed with my life
in a bag.
Jet lagged from flights to hell
and back-packed ready
to see my God in the pavements— away close to home
with the Bible on my belt.

I felt
the tilted welt
split its rock
and crumble tumble down my throat
into my gullet
swift like velvet, memories tell it…

That my fiction is now Non,
and the friction is gone—down the road


with me.

We fought this war together
Standing side by side through thick and thin
Surviving this prison as a team and family
Saving one another from the hell that existed in our lives
But now... That time has to come to an end
Now we walk our own paths
Experience our own adventures
Live our own lives
It is hard to believe that we are all going our separate ways now
That we are actually saying farewell after these long years
When you think about it's actually kind of sad
Because though we hate to admit it,
We will miss each other
But at the end of the day we all can just say one thing
Class of 2016...
***** WE MADE IT

Release me from the present
so i can jump
full stop
into the future
even if it scares me
at least
it's better than this
unbalanced
equilibrium