My life is full
Of hollow wood
And 4 strings

My ukelele
Is a better cure for depression
Than any drug

You've taught me to sing
You've taught me to laugh
You've taught me to be alone
And not to be lonely

You hear all of my bad thoughts
And hide them away from me
Where they stay
Forever trapped as I play

Every scratch
Every dent
Every broken string
Every note off key
Has changed me
And fixed me
And restrung me
And painted me

Until I'm like new

I’ve got a stitch along my arm,
and a patch across my side.
There’s a thread sticking out of my hair,
and a band-aid over my chest.
My body is covered in bandages,
with seams running every which way.
I feel like the stuff that’s inside me,
is seeping out through my tears.
With every single step I take,
comes the fear of falling apart.
But for now, I’m held together
by these few threads of hope.
Hope that I’ll someday find myself
whole and brave and strong once more.
Until that day, I’ll keep walking forward,
finding strength in the peace I’ve sewn together.

Today is the day I pick up the pieces.
In the following hours I will begin to unfold myself from the crumpled mess of paper you left me.
I will find beauty in the creases.
I will no longer carve into my legs the way your memory is carved into my delusional brain.
I will no longer reminisce on something that never really was,
I will focus on the parts where you left my mind in disarray.
I know in my lean heart that this is not something you do to the ones you love,
You do not bring insanity to the ones that try to save you,
You do not intoxicate them, cover with their unscathed skin, and leave their bones buried in mud.
You do not burn your rescuer.

You wreak of lighter fluid,
and in my sickened mind I concluded once more that food was poison.
My thoughts were a terrible escape to where there was only the stench of raw sewage.
I couldn't get past the smell,
I thought I'd never be able to swallow again for I was so nauseated.
My teeth were turning yellow, my throat was on fire, and in my ears the constant ringing of a bell.
I turned to a sack of weak calcium sticks waiting for an answer to why you robbed me,
I blamed myself for so long because I thought I caused a misunderstanding.
No I was blind but now I see.

I will love myself in all the places our friendship forgot,
I'll love myself better than you claimed too in ways you didn't know how to.
I will never stop.
I will say only kind things to my body and I will only see the beautiful things in my mind.
I will treat myself well and a different outcome I am destined to find.
I deserve real.

when everything i have ever known
is ripped apart
you tie all the broken strands back together
in a bow and
help me
fix myself

3 am
and my mind is still wandering
to places I've never been
or even heard of.

3am
and I'm still wide awake.
thinking of you, of all people
the one I've always want to forget.

3am
and I'm still suffering.
feeling broken and stuck,
falling in an endless void.

fix me, I beg
but you can't and we both know that.

She fixed me soo good,
That I forgot that I was ever broken.

He is a tinkerer.
Through his eyes he sees only cogs and turning gears,
His fingers, they feel only bolts and nuts and screws,
He's doesn't understand her, he doesn't get her tears,
To him her sentiments, they are nothing if not new,
So he tries to fix her. He pieces the broken shells of her heart together,
Together the shells weigh a pound, but individually they float like a feather,
He glues and welds her heart together with his mixtures of metals,
But he doesn't understand that these shells are like rose bud petals,
Delicately they flow, and the slightest touch makes them break,
But in time, they bloom prettier than a sunset on a shimmering lake,
No, he doesn't understand. So he welds and forges the pieces together,
He is a tinkerer.

There is strength here.
Built in glaciers older than countries
Known only to cold seas
And the animals that thrive in the face of difficulty.
There is beauty here.
Reflected in water droplets that tear the light apart
We gaze upon the scattered remains and declare it a rainbow.
We're not wrong.
There is anger here.
You only have to watch the way the volcanoes erupt in fury
Or the water-bound tsunami who reaches for land but is banished to sea.
There is pain here.
Watch the way the Earth shudders, and the ground tries to hold itself together
And oil runs from water.
We call them immiscible.
There is violence here.
It inhabits the living and the still,
Tornadoes chase and throw and break
And guns scream
And the prey cry
And comrades become competitors
There is sorrow here.
You can hear it in the breaking of a voice from topic not age
And the way the rain cries down windows,
In the whimper of a sleeping child.
There is joy here.
You see it in the songs of whales and the chatter of dolphins
And the way the stars twinkle contentedly,
Find it in the breathy huff of a baby's first laugh.
Look for it in the secret smile that wasn't meant to be seen.
There is coldness here.
Not just the kind that makes exhibits of mammoths
But there is something in the look of a bigot,
The indifference of an eagle,
Something in the way ash falls slow and steady as it watches lava desolate a city.
There is life here.
In this world we do not limit living to survival
And we have a way of finding new ways to look at our world.
And though the mountain does not breathe it moves constantly.
Though leaves that left their trees are not green, they dance on the wind.
And even when we are gone we remain in memories and dreams
And artefacts, or speeches, or actions.
There are many problems here.
But we're trying to fix them.
This is a planet worth fixing.

you tried to repair
the home we made,
but every stair
buckled under your weight,
and every wall
peeled at your touch