Getting drunk at the bar
Knowing I won't be going far
Getting high off a line
Hoping for some godly sign

On this city Christmas Eve
I want to leave
But I can't move my feet
Can't face the street

Missing my man
Cursing him - ****
For being two years gone
In his life I was just a pawn

I would let anyone lie next to me
In the darkness I cannot see
I crave human touch
I don't ask for much...

the tree rises in the dark
fine needles, like fingers
forming in the love of the womb
like hay hooved back into the stable in the spring
spring. summer. No one can imagine the warmth;
a different warmth. sun warmth. animal warmth.

Curled up in winter, we nestle into a different warmth.
we huddle together like a litter of mammals for heat
in the nights of the storm
we feel Gods watching us
with fiery anger
and flowing loves
we see the streetlights like pathetic fires
sprawled out across the valleys
where the mist sets in the day and the sky consumes at dusk

the house is haunted
but we shake the old bones' hands,
we sing and dance and shout,
red in the face,
red in the blood, the heart,
we give the ghosts flesh so they may sit with us,
so we may love and cherish and laugh

so we may sleep safely wrapped around one anothers limbs
the great sprawl of humanity
awake again for the touch
of winter warmth.

Do you think God wanted to hold Eve's hand,
Whisper into her ear and tell her,
"I know what you did, and I know Adam doesn't know how to,
But I still love you and that's all that matters."

The words
He searches the words
to describe the exquisite person
Stand before him

The words
“Nonsense! How can my excruciating words
describe her exceptionally lovely presence ” he says

The words still won’t come out
Inexplicably…

As she walks towards him
As he lays his eyes upon her
As she says
” Hi I am your eve “


-Erika

Life is a holiday for the Unliving.

Perhaps it is
as some have said:

Life is the pre-party for the Afterlife
(assuming such a thing even exists)

Though,
I suppose,
we oughtta live this life well, and now,
just in case
this really is
the only one.

If
ye find thy Shadow,
constantly embrace
the dark creativity,
not just once a year
when it's "okay."

Be not ashamed of thy Darkness.

Shame, fear, and guilt beget repression,
repression then begets pressurization,
and pressurization is akin
to explosion.

So.

Learn to appreciate it.
Learn to control it.
Learn to use it.

The Darkness is not bad,
t'is just like everything else:
t'is but what is made of it.

The Darkness is powerful
but only because we feed it
and don't allow it to breathe.

Live it. Express it.
It appreciates the respect.

the light shone down through the dark
unmasking my body from its camouflage
it left me standing there naked,
disposed to eyes that passed over with
curiosity and judgement
they stared at my vulnerability
completely seeing all that I am
and everything I am not
the light shone down through the dark
showing each imperfection
with such clarity
even my shadow left my side

Both* the apple and your lips were *poison
Your mouth tainted with the forbidden fruit.

But I wanted you
I wasn't unsuspecting.

you were the snake
everyone knew you were the villain.

And that is why I kissed you
and took your deadly gift.

My heart flat-lined yesterday
At approximately 5:28 in the afternoon
The time doesn’t really matter
Nor, I suppose
Does the fact that I flat-lined yesterday
(For; I’m still alive, though not living)
But I thought it was an interesting fact
And wondered if you, too, would be interested in knowing
That I hit ground-level apathy
For everything
And for reasons beyond my control

Before you go thinking I’m depressed over you
Or over something you did
Be assured that my heart flat-lined for reasons beyond anyone’s control
Except my own
But it had to be done, I suppose
In order to feel again

The funny thing is knowing
That I could curl up on my bed and eat my favorite things
While reading the letter you wrote to me a few years ago
And fall in love with you again
With the wonderful twists my stomach makes
When you look at me a certain way
Or when I think of your lips meeting mine

But the thing that scares me the most to think about
Is that perhaps it wouldn’t be me falling in love with you again
If I have to eat my favorite things to be feel a certain way

The thing about today is that I know God is up there somewhere
But I can’t find it in me to care
I’m neither sinning nor making good
Not being tempted, not being persuaded
I simply exist
With no plans or future or decisions to make
I suppose my struggle with my favorite foods is the one exception to what I’ve described

See,
I know that God is up there somewhere
But today it’s that I just cannot force myself to care
There’s a wall between He and I somewhere in the lining of my stomach
(And though I never meant for it to be there)
It keeps Him from touching my soul
18 years of bad habits built up in my arteries
Clogging my heart from anything but apathy
But somewhere I found it in me to cry yesterday
As it flat-lined at 5:28
God made me human
With all these emotions
That I have a natural right to feel

(I know now
Why our Mother ate that which was forbidden)

So this apathy
Is a test trial of us
And though I still love you
Today
I don’t feel for you
Or for anything
Until tomorrow
(I hope)