The jagged edge of the arrow
penetrated my heart

What a fool Eros was

What was meant to be love
evolved into nothing
His apathetic ways
left me shivering
and I, to protect my exposed heart
feigned indifference

What a fool Eros was

Upon accepting this painful truth
I ripped out the arrow
that was deeply anchored in my heart
and I slowly bled to death

"I just want to have ***", you said.
An unexpected non-sequitur.
We had been sipping tea or coffee or something.
We had been reminiscing about the old street,
Back when none of us were single.
"yeah, I miss it, too", I said.

"No.  I mean right now", you corrected.
As I turned to see your face, it betrayed little.
Impassive but alert.  Warm but not intimate.  No passion.
I was willing, but remember: this never happened to me.
Something seemed wrong about it,
But was there any harm?

I asked if I could think about it.
You thought about it, too, as we watched a movie.
Halfway through some Ridley Scott epic, we held each other.
We touch-explored and memory only tells me this is true:
With no further reason beyond the will to be,
I soon lay naked there with you.  
It wasn't love but, then again,
This never happened.
Awkward, at first, we found our place,
Our touch and pull, our rhythm and pace.
"no kissing", you admonished, speaking only that.

Though I rest spent and full inside you,
That was your concern.
Too personal.
Too intimate.

We held each other for a while,  you left within the hour,
Saying, "this never happened", and my only thought,
My only answer to you,
Was a solemn confirmation,
That nothing could be more true.

Your name a divine poem full of melody.
Capable to ****** all the demons, one by one.
And first of all the most ancient one,
Eros.

Tender curiosity
ignited something I never anticipated.

Your mind is a mass of knotted rope that I want to untangle with my tongue while our bodies are pressed against each other,
Yet I crave to hold you and know you in the most innocent of ways.

No, I will never be in love with you,
And dear Lord! I hope you never fall in love with me,
but I long to understand you in a way that no one ever has,
and reassure you that your trust goes unbroken.

Follow me tonight,
to the corner where lust and purity meet.

Strong and silent friend,
I have always seen such beauty in you.
Please, never forget that I am on your side.

thinking of times
when walking for a mile
took you into a different world
climbing a hill
    through clinging underbrush
filled you with apprehension
of what might be awaiting you
beyond the crest

then
to slowly open up
the pages of a book
was always more
than just a ritual of escape

the not so casual touch
    of a girl’s hard breast
    a boy’s lean hand
upon your shoulder
sent shudders down your spine
of inarticulate hot expectations
and brought wild images to you
at night
in lusting isolation

to keep this core
   the sense of awe
   of wonder and excitement
alive in you against the waves of many years
is not an easy feat
   yet worth the while

it makes you see
    when many just walk by
life’s gracious beauty of small moments

                        * * * *

Tell me about your dreams
of you
wondering in starlit dew
Tell about each dreamy breath you take
making love for lover's sake
Whisper in my ear my dear
of magical dreams with you
falling into clouds of love
feeling the warmth of you

Tell me about ancient fable times;
Oracle's love questions in rhymes;
rhyming about you and me; beyond an ever calming sea

Tell me about vines that creep
up walls too steep that carry me to you
into bedroom dreams of bliss

Tell me about your dreamy house;
it's lilac door, it's French domain, and flowery window paine
Tell me you dream of two, just me and you
within its walls of love, two like dreamy turtle doves
dreaming of only love...

Those very alluring eyes,
that sparkles even in sunlight
Those curly and shiny hair,
that i wish to run my fingers through
You're very handsome face,
that I can take to look at every seconds left in my life
I never believe then in love-at-first-sight,
But at the very moment I laid my eyes on you,
I started imagining my life with you
Seeing you for the first time,
Is the best 5 minutes of my life
I believe that we are destined to see each other again.


.

We met at friends house  .  .  .
That night was first love making,                                                        
  .  .  .  The moon dance of eyes.

I said, "God, I love you".
She smiled and said I'd do in a pinch.

I said, "but I need you to do something for me..."
She looked into my eyes and said, "What's that"?

I said, "I need you to tell me something".
She said, "All right.  What's that?"

I said, "repeat after me"
I said, " 'wes...' "

She stared back into my eyes and said, "wes..."
She laughed a little chuckle in her throat.

I said, "no, this is serious..."
I looked into her eyes.
I prompted her:  " 'wes...' "

She smiled, saying "wes..."
I said, " 'stop ******' around' "

She said, "stop ******' around"
she laughed again, adding, "wes".

I smiled and said, "no, try it seriously  now"
She said, "wes.  seriously.  stop ******* around..."

She laughed.
I said, "want to go back to bed and fool around?"
She laughed.
I laughed.
We went back to bed.

H,

I think we’re at war right now.
I’m not really sure —
we never were too good at clear conversation —
but I think we’re at war.

And it’s not that I want to do this,
but I’ve sent out the first wave of attacks.

They should arrive tonight, around 11.

I’m sorry.

You just love too much.
I can’t sleep,
I can’t think,
I can’t do my job;
I had to do something.

Please don’t think I wanted this.
Please.

I know you don’t mean to do it.

But I need this.
He needs this.
And after all,
that’s what we both want right?
For him to be happy?

It’s the only way.

And who knows,
maybe you’ll win this one.
You always were a fighter.

Maybe this letter will reach you before they do.
Maybe you’ll come out on top.
And if you do, just promise me one thing.

Take care of him.
Make sure he doesn’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

Try not to break him, the way she breaks you.

With love,
B.