To Marissa whom I love
the woman of my life
‎my dearest and closest friend
The one about to be my wife

8 years ago in a co-op class
Twas the place that we first met
I loved you from that moment on
Though I didn't know it yet

End of the school year
And parted ways did we
Different directions for a time
The Lord did have us be

Lessons to learn
and morals to keep
Growing in spirit
Our faith in Christ growing deep

Many years later,
Under the fire work lit sky
I finally asked you out
And yes was your reply

I fell in love with
That sparkle in your eye
Deep and blue like the sea
And bright as the sky

I fell in love with your laugh
So joyful and carefree
A testament to God's love
That resides in you and me

I fell in love with you
The peace to my chaos
My calm and balance
Without you I'd be at a loss

I stand here now ready
My vows to pledge to you
Promises of faith and love
And of trials to weather through

I promise to love you
For the rest of my days
I just hope you'll put up with me
And all my crazy ways

I promise to be strong
A shelter ever steady
A place to rest and be at peace
I will always be ready

To hold you tight and close
If comfort is what you desire
Or to simply be a listening ear
When you need to vent your ire

I promise to express
Just how much I love you
Every day for the rest of our lives
Starting now by saying I do

I dream of* lovers
who fascinate me to no end,
veering the course of their affection
from something they understand exists,
to something they fear to understand

I dream of hearts
yearning for their better halves,
as they seep deeper into the chasms
that engulf their intimacy within

I dream of sinners
who wish to speak of sin;
rather the innocence of deviance
and its naiveté when it comes
to matters of the heart

I dream of writers
who bleed from their pens
as they wholeheartedly express their emotions
and aspire to quell the heartache
that they endure every day

I dream of innovators
who wish to present upon their peers
the next invention selected
to represent the advent of a better tomorrow

I dream of tears.
I dream of tears....

Why? What sorcery forces one
to shed so many
that they leak past
the prisms of known consciousness
and into the peaceful slumber
that comforts aching minds?

I apologize.

Now you know of the dread, sorrow,
and sheer wonder that comes
when I dream of earthly elements
begging for peace.

I dream because I am a coward.
I apologize for *dreaming.

Through the darkness
Through the dancing flame
When faith was madness
In this drenching rain
When failure seemed supreme
And mocking faces orbit
When hope seemed unreal
With things hardwork *****.
This is where great men walked.

Through trials and many attempts
Through hardwork that never relent
Through sleepless nights and frustration
Their vision led by determination
When faith begins to wobble
Seek hope from the Almighty
Great hope they all gobble,
Strength to keep fighting
This is where great men walked.

Behold! A child is born
The reward of such great labour
Greatness with it core
The world bows with its favour
Then history is written
His greatness; this is the beginning.
This is where great men walked.

20:00 - Dinner
Alone but entertained
I like it that way

21:00 - Skype calls
Not having talked for four days
I've missed her yet the occasional silence is nice

22:00 - Fillers
Scrolling through pictures and sharing thoughts
A pleasant and calm feeling

23:00 - Rethinking
The first hypothetical theories about the day
Laughing at the slip-ups to push them away

00:00 - Reflecting
Doubting choices throughout the week
Faking a small smile

01:00 - Endurance
A familiar feeling spreads
Downcast eyes and a facade of peace

02:00 - Creative
New ideas and thoughts fill up the space
Pick and choosing which ones would hurt the most now

03:00 - Idealistic
Reading stories about happiness, pain and change
Wondering what will become of me

04:00 - Closure
Horrible thoughts tearing down the last walls
Curling up and crying again

05:00 - End
Following a familiar routine before sleep comes
Cradling the broken mind

The stampede takes off
Lean figures are all around
Our stomps and heavy breathing
Are the only known sounds
As we make our way across the grassy field plane
A familiar presence settles inside
The venom dripping like a cold black rain
Killing us all like an insecticide

Dust clouds surround our heads
Seems to us that our vision is blurry
We needn’t fret; we needn’t worry
What we wouldn’t give to be in our beds

The mind games arrive; our faces contort
The voices in our heads call for mission abort
We don’t dare listen, we don’t dare succumb
To the deadly feelings in which we shall overcome

But the poisonous knots in my stomach flex tighter
And there is nothing that I can do
When I realize with fright
That I may be going closer to the growing light

And the sun rays pierce the dust clouds
We can see our way again
But how long will it be
Until the agony will end?
The wind screams with laughter; the trees turn and watch
As the humans down below turn it up a further notch

Our bodies are at war, and no one wants to lose
Even the most determined shrug past muscular abuse
And now the day is finished; the sweat is dried on our skin
But the memories of the battle are reflected on within

Plain n' simple true,
Dread is wholesome and
Speaks in quakes, here. For the
Monster fear looms ever near.

Slow it creeps, wagging tongue
Dripping lies like maggots
Spill from the bloated dead.
Vigor and lust are well eaten
And moths and dust are all
That remain of 'love-making'.

But tracing at first, golden
At the very last glimpse.
Wet eyes, hushed gripes at
nothing: Behold, I'll march.

I'll march well-receded upon
The dusk. I'll march well-seeded
Upon the morn'. I'll march well-sympathised
Upon the wine-smooth caresses of dawn.

For a ghost longing for death, I am
What is plain. What is simple. What is
True.

The clear blue sky seems to stretch endlessly
Peace; all is calm
Countless blessings have been received
My heart is full
Gradually the dark clouds press down
The storm arrives
Memories of joy and comfort feel worlds away now
An unreachable light
Guilt consumes me for feeling weak and wanting to give up
Have I not been blessed?
Chaos consumes me and I am unable to stand for another moment
I fall to my knees
My cries - I assume - cannot be heard over the raging torrent
He hears me
The turmoil does not cease, but He has come to my aid once again
My strength is renewed
With restored hope and an invincible support bearing me up
I face the wind; resilient
The times I fall give meaning to each opportunity I have to rise
I am determined
Heavy clouds begin to disperse and the thunder is now a distant murmur
Calm is on the horizon
The gloom is disrupted by light piercing through the cloud’s heavy cover
A decision is to be made
Does the contrasting light give me the power to press forward?
I fear it does not
For my gaze is still fixed upon the churning storm
What little faith I have!
The storm is never going to pass, though it may rest for a season
My heart aches
I yearn for the blue skies to encompass me again
The desire to quit is unbearable
Tender mercies are sent to help me realign my will to His
My perspective shifts
As I allow myself to open my heart and lean on my Savior, I will be taught
His ways are higher
Frustration will consume me if I am not cautious and willing to listen
The Spirit is my constant companion
When the nights drag on and the merciless storm rages unceasingly, I will wait
Those piercing beams will return
Until the light breaks through though, I will look to my Savior as He lifts me
I do not know where we will go
But as long as I let God guide us, I know that our destination is Home
My trust is in Him

here i sit
in my class
and then i'm knocked
flat on my *ss

i thought that i was smart
my teacher told me so
but listening to this conversation
i'm going loco

i can't understand what's happening
why should i even try
but i do need to graduate
so here i sit and cry

on the inside

by Jedidiah Fleming

The World is my Kryptonite.
It was delivered by a Canaanite.
It is so very black and white.
Black as black midnight.
White as white starlight.
Hotter than a fist-fight.
Colder than a frostbite.
It tries to lure you to the fight.
Being naturally impolite.
Always swelling with pride and might.
Soaring like a meteorite.
Exploding like dynamite.

O, but it is a parasite!
Warping every human right.
Dealing every man-made fright.
Feeding like a scabie mite.
Destroying like a forest blight.

Yet it craves a ray of Light.

From it, I remain from sight.
It is worse than any stage fright.
A never-ending snakebite.
Seeing without sight.
Hearing without height.
Choking out the sunlight.

The world is my Kryptonite.
But parts of it may turn to Light.
So its pain I will carry on.