grown, Rolando's fissure
soaks words.
Most days he lies domant.

unannounced, sulcus scatter
secret codes.
day-to-day his labour unpleasant.

crafty is a snake
wise is a sage

winter holidays and you become snow
between glaciers and silver towers
among apes, wizards and goons
you become snow in the winter

as you turn into what you dread
as you turn into this being
a viking, werewolf, you name it
may the games begin, you may die

beneath the surface of your dreams
beneath red heavens and families
in times of hunger, you stay focussed
you become snow in the winter

as you turn into another, an: other
snow is flooding the news flash
sinners, brothers and sisters
burning sandstorms, playful twisters

elijah's path is covered with thorns
roses **** the innocent and they cry
wild roses turn into winter snow
raise your head, watchin' them grow

clocks, the same time, worldwide
remember the oaths of the old ones
remember them praying in the snow

...and turn into this being

From heaven, fire Elijah called.
At Jezebel's word, fled he, terrified.
From duty, by heavenly chariot, removed.
On mountain top, with Moses, appeared.
Elijah, not the greatest prophet.
Nor Elisha, even doubly anointed.
But John, the greatest born of woman;
No fire nor bears, doubted and beheaded.

the night i
first
found out he
might
be sick it rained.
i ate manhattan's favorite
rice-a-roni
and tried so
hard
to feel something
to be fair i was very
upset
but i didn't feel it.
all i got was a
headache from
forced
tears and a
sleepless
night.

three months earlier
near the time of my
birthday
i was having a terrible day
per usual,
when i received a birthday card
in the mail.
it was from my sister and on the
bottom of the card it said
from:
then their names followed
but in the biggest
font, right underneath the rest of their names
was his,
'Elijah,'
written by his own hand.
I
smiled
at the thought of him
smiling
while writing that.

I'm in love with you.
In every way I thought I'd ever love someone
And in every way I never thought I ever could.

You brought a light into everything I hated,
And showed me that the darkness behind my eyes didn't scare you.

I didn't try to wipe you clean and make you perfect,
And you didn't try to do that to me either.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for loving me.

We created a new light between the both of us.
A life we talked about but never imagined would come so soon.

Everything will never be like the past again,
This is our first steps as people we've never been before...

And it's so **** scary,
And I've never been happier.

When Elijah comes again,
We'll all turn the page of sin,
He is not the Lord,
But a voice of awe,
Heaven above, earth below,
Fire within, ever to glow,
Divine life and love on Planet Earth,
One vision and one dream,
Amity and no more bigotry,
One global fellow humanity,
Ceasing hostilities, such sin,
When Elijah comes again.

The lack isn't enough
The absence of another set of hands is proving to be tough
No ones asked me how I'm doing for quite awhile
I remember your bed
I remember how much we didn't care about each other's pasts or the lingering of our own deadly thoughts
If you are the golf course and I am the rain then I'd like to go back to that night and remember how it felt to be completely ****** up and utterly insane
But I'm tired
No
I'm exhausted
A year ago I was not alone
I had dug a hole in a boys heart and filled it with suicidal thoughts and unanswered questions, both his and my own, and destroyed myself while calling it "love"
I think I was hiding
Using him as a mask
Because I was terrified and needed someone to provide me with a flask and cigarette addiction
The past is the past
But the past is all I have
The present is proving to be boring and the futures a *****
I guess I'll just be alone for now
Get dragged by the snow drifts and mesmorized by the wind
Stand out in the freezing snow and think about how I never feel warm anymore
Cause when I'm alone I'm cold to the core
Bored

Everyday is another day
To either repeat my mistakes or consider forgetting this hate
But everyday I wake up and think of two things
First I think of him
Then I think of you
And I'm sorry my heads out of order
Excuse me for crossing these borders
But I still love him
Can I be infatuated with two?
I'd say yes
Because I'll love you both forever
Though we don't talk I can't let you escape my mind for you are every unanswered question I've ever asked and you are every cell I've left unexplored
Meanwhile
You
I love you as of the current
And I've known this for a long while
But I've sailed every inch of your sea and left a trail of small bruises and remanimts of red lipstick
But I don't want you to leave
I'm just afraid I'll go forever without knowing what he'd be like
Afraid of the unknown
Because with you I am home
With you I am free
But when I exit that ******* door it's him
**** I hate how it's always him and never home
But I love you of the current
And I'm sorry
Don't let me go
Don't leave me stranded in this bed without that well memorized map most call a mind, body and soul
I'm only 15
Why do I feel so old?