Everyday is another day
To either repeat my mistakes or consider forgetting this hate
But everyday I wake up and think of two things
First I think of him
Then I think of you
And I'm sorry my heads out of order
Excuse me for crossing these borders
But I still love him
Can I be infatuated with two?
I'd say yes
Because I'll love you both forever
Though we don't talk I can't let you escape my mind for you are every unanswered question I've ever asked and you are every cell I've left unexplored
Meanwhile
You
I love you as of the current
And I've known this for a long while
But I've sailed every inch of your sea and left a trail of small bruises and remanimts of red lipstick
But I don't want you to leave
I'm just afraid I'll go forever without knowing what he'd be like
Afraid of the unknown
Because with you I am home
With you I am free
But when I exit that ******* door it's him
**** I hate how it's always him and never home
But I love you of the current
And I'm sorry
Don't let me go
Don't leave me stranded in this bed without that well memorized map most call a mind, body and soul
I'm only 15
Why do I feel so old?

Eyes like panes of glass
Cut me to pieces
With every fist full of hair and moan for more
I think my favorite song is just a track of our heavy breathing
And the instrumentals are the sound of sweat pooling on your chest
Trace my lips with your finger tips
Look me in the eye
Cut me like glass
Our bodies together is all I ask

I built a home between his hip bones
Though I don't visit all too often
It is a sanctuary
Not the only one but my first true sin
Bruised skin
Flesh on flesh
I swear god put him on this earth just as a test
To watch me give in
Again and again
I can't say no
I can't pretend
You found my frail self screaming, crying on your bathroom floor
We spilt the the wine of life
You striped me of my bile covered clothes
Dragged me to shower
You sat there stroking my head for what felt like 24 hours
Oh the taste of relapse
Smells of cigarettes and silence
Feels like hitting the wall and then being buried under the bricks
In and out in and out
Regain consciousness
Look in the mirror
Take another hit
Breathe
Sitting in that dimly lit room full of mirrors and couches
Memories, more memories
We sat together, limbs entangled
We thanked god for that white powder
We cursed at lucifer for our delicate addiction
Inhale
Feel the burn
Wow
"I missed you so much"
Maybe once again I'll visit the home between your hips
And we'll fall in love again
Oh the taste of relapse
So bitter sweet

We lay
So close yet so far away
I can only parts of you
The cracks in the blinds light up the room
We are silent
Can you feel the tension?
The sweet smell of cigarettes floats around us
Picture perfect
We are silent
We are tired
We are nothing but enemies

;and I'm tired
I'm so ******* tired
The stress, the mess, the guess
Where are you?
Why don't we love eachother?
Why do we only come intact when we're lonely?
I'm afraid of commitment yet fear change
A part of me knows that you'll always be here
A deadbeat
Going nowhere fast just trying to make enough cash
And I guess I'm a deadbeat as well
No major goals
Minimal motivation
We're both so impure
I'm so unsure
It's never awkward
Even when we're smoking cigarettes at 2:00 am naked in the moonlight
Ah
Relief
Long enough to keep us alive but short enough not to **** us

Promised myself I'd keep it innocent
At least for awhile
But like the greater Gods I gave into temptation
Skin agaisnt skin
The most delightful of sins
We're not in love
I don't even know your last name
We're ******* just to feel
Now you and I have a past
You're the name at the bottom of my glass
We only talk when it's convenient for you
Or when we're drunk after having a few
We have nothing in common
Just a mind full of past lovers and a history of sad ***
Line after line she'll get off his mind and then my body will be on his
In between sheets like a man in between homes
I'm not the one
Not even his number one
Maybe it's fate maybe it's my lonely mind looking for a mate
It's not love
It's not lust
We collect together like dust
The rusted parts of us beat in unity at the peak
But we don't see eye to eye
I can't remember how we started to speak
Will we ever say goodbye for good?

He doesn't care
He's fighting for you
All I ask is for some stability
Not asking you to ignore the number 15
I'm tired of searching
It's been too many times
Too many lips
Too many sad rhymes
And I'm tired of fighting
And not being fought for
I want to give up
I wanna knock on heavens door
I entered this hell I call home too young
I'm addicted to touch
I'm on and off numb
I miss my first lover
I'm ******* dumb

You there – suspended loftily in air;
Your feathers so shiny and sleek -
Tell me; What do you know, Brother Crow,
Of that which I always seek?

What are you hiding, while wind-riding?
What? Something about flying alone?
I want to know; My Brother Crow,
About my oft dreamt-of home.

The ever sky filled with azure dye;
It must speak to you of freedom -
And it may be true, but only for you,
Our grounded lives are already done.

For me; Can you show those fields, of melted snow?
Those obsidian peaks beneath the so-blue Sea?
I truly need to go, Brother Crow,
But why won't you ever take me?

You there – suspended haughtily in air;
Your feathers so shiny and sleek-
Tell me; What could you know, Selfish Crow,
Of that which I always seek?