You call me selfish,
ungrateful and mean.
Are you looking at me?
Do you see me?
or do you see a reflection of you?
I am not perfect
nor do I care to be.
You, who want me to bend and give
to accommodate you
are the selfish one.
Manipulation at its best
and it used to work on me
mold
mold myself
to what he or she wants
make them happy
don't upset anyone.
See me, choose me, don't leave me.
I am not that naive anymore
I am on to you
I see the lies.
Say it again,
and look in the mirror
Selfish, do you see it in your eyes
ungrateful, do you see it in your eyes
mean, do you see it in your eyes
Your name-calling  is a reflection of you
not me
I do not own your perspective.
I will survive it all.

She was a beacon my soul was attuned to before I ever knew what a soul was.

She met me like a lioness circling its meal

She crashed over my life and my heart like a ship forced onto rocks by the storm

We mingled intertwined like plants from the same root marking ourselves permanently for eachother

She took a turn dined on dysfunction and tragedy in seven course form never looking up to see the sun

She tossed my soul my love out her window undone used up

She fooled me as many before used for only a time until she could wade back into the comfort of her own past dysfunction like warm water to her mind it was home

Her gaze touched my soul

I saw beyond all futures

A life of torment

She was a match , My other half

She was also poison , The kind you cant get enough of

Her dysfunction mingled with mine in strange ways that broke us both

Have you heard the saying
The strong can afford to be gentle
While the weak and unsure brag and boast?

The weak are the loudest!  
With overbearing, feigned affection and denial.
Speaking half truths to cast illusions
To veil their target's truth, as lies.

The weak love to gather an army,
of "everyone," so they say.
Why? It is simple!
To siphon your power away.
Yes, they are the "Wolves in sheep's clothing"
Climbing to the top of a mountain of victims
With their claws -n- fangs
Of gaslighting manipulations.

Half -truths and lies,
Guilt -n- shame,
Setting up circumstances,
Playing upon weakness, and social taboos.
Creating false scenarios for others to see
Gossiping and acting
All tools of their game.

Are you scorned,
Offended and hurt?
Never ever worry.
Never let it get to you!
Know, it is all for show.
This is how they magnify their victim role.
But who calls a ravenous wolf a victim,
Knowing the wolf's actions are aimed at control?!!

The wolves are very sly!
Summoning their hatchet men
to do their bidding!
To cut down the innocent,
The sincere, and pure of heart.
Stealing their virtues
Misrepresenting intent.
Are you a part of this cancerous
skurge up on the earth?!

Are you part of their inner circle?
Are you favoured and showered with gifts?
That job you always wanted?
The power, position, and money
That Screams,
"I AM RICH !!!!" I AM POWERFUL!!!
"I HAVE ARRIVED!!!"

How many people did you destroy?
How many hearts did you break?
How many times did you sale your soul?
To be showered with those gifts,
That power, and that position?

Ease your guilt if you wish.
Send a card for every follower's birthday,
Stroke their ego with a wonderful mention,
A salute, to toast both your egos!
As long as you have something to offer
You will be savoured and milked, and stroked
Like aphids in an anthill forever trapped.

Why all this effort to send their targets over the edge?
To keep alive?
To avoid the inevitable overshadowing doom?
What happened to the wolf that used to be free?

Little by little, the wolf was lead astray.
With a gentle ring in its nose
Down into the valley
Where they fear their personal evil.
Each time you did their bidding
Your nose became tighter
And your slavery more sure.

One day, it will be your turn
You will be the "One"
Their sacrificial lamb.
Be alert. Be alive. Beware.
Of their sly well placed apologies and feigned love.  
Pushing you away
Then pulling you in very close.  
Twisting and turning your truth
To suit themselves.
To suit their captain, their very own Kingpin.

Alienation, keeping you alone?
How about in shame?
Is it misleading, even your own emotions?
Your own beliefs, and acts?
Standing on your back,
They will turn you Over and over again.
Until you, their very own scapegoat, collapse.
Whether of exhaustion, mental collapse, or suicide
It doesn't matter.
So long as you dutifully do it
Moving them further ahead.

Do you realize that there is a different choice?
You can insist on holding your integrity!
Refuse to hurt another!
You can refuse to be afraid!
You can refuse to self blame,
You can choose to stands up
and walk away from the game!  

But, once as a wolf in sheep's clothing
You become blood stained
Their hooks will be deep into your soul!
Anchored so strongly by fear.

******* in the hooking and anchoring
Fear propels you on to
Denying reality,  
Denying truth
Denying even evil your own evil actions
Along the path of 8 deadly sins.
Weaving am ever thicker, forever holding web of lies.

What if you curb your hunger for the bait they set?
Denying pride, anger, gluttony,
Letting go of greed, lust, envy,
Idolatry, and sloth.
What if you take courage to make life right?
Becoming untwisted and detangled from the games?  
For love is what matters to the strong
Not power, nor greed, nor money, nor fame.

The wolves may grasp and manoeuvring for more power.
With increased desperation, 
The wolves cloaks begins to slip.
Alast, the sleeping sheep eyes are awakened
And they are asleep no more.

Do you suspect you are dealing with a wolf in sheep's clothing?
Watch their feet and watch their mask.
Test them.
Give them  a bit of their sought after desire.
Then watch closely  
Do they dawn a slight smile when they ask for control?
Do they do it again when you give a little to them?  

Watch! You will see a slight smirk,
A slight gloat, dance across their face.
It will be only for an instant.
They will not thank you.
Acting entitled, they will proceed to take control
Without a thought of you
As they climb upon your back, to stand up!
Thinking that they have scored
And wheeled their power to manipulate and control.

If you see this, there is no doubt.
Trust your instincts, your gut!
Never allow their words to dis-sway you
from your voice of truth!

Is there a wolf under your daughter's, your mother's, your sister's, Your brother's, your aunt's, your uncle's, your cousin's
And/or closest friend's sheepish cloak?
You know the one!
The one who seems to pick a fight
That comes out of  nowhere,
Without a rhyme nor reason.

Know that you never have to engage them
Or prove yourself.
You never give up who you are.
Never give up on your dreams!
Hold on to your true self!
Speak your truth.
If it is trampled by swine
Go to where it will be cherished instead.

Love, prayer, boundaries,
Living within the higher vibrations.
I gave my own wolves' in sheeps' clothing
Their own universe to do whatever they will.
It was the kindest thing I could do for all of us.

I kindly invite them back
If and only if they leave the games behind!!
And live sincerely, with compassion, and respect.
If I see they have stopped climbing on other's backs
I'd lovingly accept them back into  my world.

Yet, it is interesting
How deep my peace has become.
Oh, such peace!!!
How could I ask for more?

The phrase "a broken home"
attaches much value to
the nuclear family.
As if to ask
whether the people
themselves

aren't fractured
in some way. Were it
intrinsic, we wouldn't last.

The phrase
is indicative
of a shame I'd
reject, but

A little girl that did nothing wrong is alone

Alone, in her bed, screaming for mommy
Alone, playing ever so quietly for hours on end
Alone, surrounded by the screams of thy mother
Alone, encased by the silence of thy father
Alone, glass crashes on the floor
Alone, with questions of life
Alone, when the police arrive at my home
Alone, with questions of where is daddy?
Alone, hiding is a sacred place
Alone, dreading the storm that will end
Alone, as she cares for her mother
    Sobbing, cursing, bleeding, broken
Alone, with silent tears of fear
Alone, abandoned and scared
Alone, running and screaming for help
Alone, amongst the chaos in which we called family
Alone, to figure out what love is amongst this devastation
Alone, to allow boys to use her as they like
Alone, in a world created in her mind
      A fantasy of a mother, father, daughter and sister
      Surrounded by laughter, caring, support, and love
Alone, wishing I was special and dead alike
Alone, staring at the trickling blood - just to feel something
Alone, pleading with God to take me instead of a beloved child
Alone, swallowing pills in the night
Alone, saving herself
Alone, she awakes

A little girl that did nothing wrong is all alone

Who am I?
Why am I here?
How do I grow?
Where do the words that I utter spring from?
How do my actions unfold to take flight?
What are the roots of my habits both desired and not desired?
When did my character become undesirably ripe?
As defined by Another?

Piously pompous extruding expectations
We both wagged the tail of judgment from our respective roles.
Each casting the wands of incantations, illusions, and lies!
One to change the controlling illusion
Another to maintain it's web and power.

It was handed down from the very first mothers
It was handed down from the very first fathers
It was set into motion from the very first breath of the very first lie.
It created the very first shadow of darkness that fell upon Truth.

Tainted, "It" fell from realms of Light, the realms of Love and Joy.
"It" tumbled and rolled down the family Tree
Branch by branch, twig by twig, and leaf by leaf
Deeper into the darkness, grief, sadness and pain.

We were taught to ignore the dragon of dysfunction
Lying among the branches of our human family tree.
As "It" grew and grew, and grew.
"It" matured and gave birth to expanding prodigies
Who fained deeds of compassion, fained loyalties,
Fained emotions, and fained love

To twist and to alter reality,
Aimed toward total power,  riches, and total control.
Using the swords of Expectations,
Judgments, half truths and lies, they waged war!
With their army of
Every wolf in sheep's clothing
Every entitled the fair-haired child
Every hero - rescuer
Every "I am the victim"
Every fearful guilt burdened peacemaker,
Every misunderstood black sheep,
And all the unaware lost lambs.
The cycle of dysfunction turns
As a companion within the wheel of time.
We are told to never speak of It and deny It's existence.
This is the power that feeds It as It expands.
And we find ourselves beyond the ability to contain "It."

One day our eyes open to awareness
We come face-to-face with "The Choice."
Do we go back to sleep? Or do we get up?
And if we stand up, what is next?
When we see our unveiled past, will we fear and hide?
Or arise as a seeking warrior of Light?
If we choose the Light will Love begin to arise from the darkness
Will Love transform "It" to find It's-self Immortal & Eternal?

Give me understanding of Love!! With Understanding I will seek!!
Standing between the windows of time past, present, and future
With the root of addictive desire, laid upon the alter
Banished! Gone!! Released!!

Will the Darkness  release "It" from the depths of grief, sadness and pain?
Without a word "It" became a He
And He draped the blanket of courage over His shoulders
with the Light of hope in His eyes.
Refusing to never give up
He dawned His Innate strengths
Refusing dire circumstances
Letting go of confusion, ignorance, vises, grief, blame, and all ill desire
He stepped straight and firmly into the Light which expands!
He stood with joy in the Light and looked back

As "It" became a She
And She draped the blanket of courage over Her shoulders
with the Light of hope in Her eyes
Refusing to never give up
She dawned Her Innate strengths
Refusing dire circumstances
Letting go of confusion, ignorance, vise, grief, blame, and all ill desire
She stepped straight and firmly into the Light which expands!

The Light embraced Her and embraced Him
They stood together seeking understanding
Their hearts opened
Each to sing their own song of joy, of love, of peace
Together in harmony
Dancing  in the Light as One.

So with courage, do my actions unfold to take flight!
With joyful Love the words uttered within my heart sprang!
How, I do grow!
I am fully here, awake!
I know who am I, really!
Because  in silence I sat upon the earth
As He sat upon the Earth
As She sat upon the Earth
Looking toward the heavens
She female and He male
Focused in silence, they taught me how to breathe.

Now throughout the generations of Time
We began to breathe as One
Together in Love, in Peace and in Unity.
Reaching and holding each other
Beyond and through the Wheel of Time.

You’re undecided whether you like me better blonde or brunette
it doesn’t matter as my hair is dying and coming loose.
I’ve abided to the unspoken terms of complete regret,
I made my bed, I’ll lie in it, tucked in tight as a noose.
Lifeless eyes that are overwhelmed with saggy lids,
so very tired but they’re still searching for a spark.
Feeling unwanted and rejected but still accepting bids,
but I belong on the sidelines and kept in the dark.

We can talk to each other about anything and everything
as long as it’s spoken in non corresponding code.
I’m at a dinner party fasting with nothing to bring,
at the wrong house on the wrong road.
You’re trapped in the maze that is my mind,
and that place may just become your home.
I’d direct you out if there was an exit I could find,
but even breaking down the perimeter reveals a dome.

Won’t you please be kind,
and please rewind.
Travel back and find,
the roots where we bind.
Stained from tear streaked flushed cheeks
and shredding through each line,
months became years but first days became weeks
and I still reply “I’m fine.”
It gets weaker every time.

She said “if your scared of ghosts then you’ll hate falling in love.”
It’s like an empty house and you’re the host
but there’s noises coming from above.
Every single door is closed
no matter how persistent you knock,
and you’re left feeling like you’ve imposed
on the person who convinced you to walk.

You can keep repeating it,
until you start believing it,
but my dear, we both know the real deal.
And I’ve been retreating in,
pouring out and bleeding in,
I’m already dead but when will I keel?

Won’t you please be kind,
and please rewind.
Travel back and find,
I’m half deaf but fully blind.
My home’s become the floorboard that creeks,
and my heart’s a vacant gold mine,
months became years but first days became weeks
and I still reply “I’m fine.”
It gets weaker every time.

A star never falls the same twice
and each week the moon has a new face,
I’ve been treading carefully but still slipping on ice,
I thought it was the tortoise that won the race?
And now my heart is booming
and beating straight out of my chest,
cardiac arrest is looming,
it’s been too long since it’s had a rest.

In all my over thinking I’ve never had a wishful thought,
this will be the last time I’ll wait around to see.
In all my over thinking I’ve never been satisfied with what I’ve got,
this will be the last time you can explain it all to me.

So my teeth grind, please be kind and rewind.
Maybe I was blind, please be kind and rewind.
Yes I’ve lost mind, please be kind and rewind.
Made beds to which we’re bind, please be kind and rewind.