not a day goes by where i don't think of you
and i hate myself for it

welcome to the hollow cake
buttered by cream frosting
its no fun being the rat in wax
is it?

was the garnish good, at least?

we're here only moments
and they're being wasted every minute
just like all the opportunities
that have gone on by

there's still plenty game to be had
a plentiful lot in play
pennies for each of their fads
hair changes, and ripped stockings
handmade

but when the dye fades
your mascara runs
was it fun?

Stupid, I say
You're all dumb and dull
They're a ***** and she's a troll

I'm right there too
As lame as them or her
Whose the dumbest? Of that I'm unsure.

So lets run a test
To see who knows what
An IQ exam should tell us a lot

She got a 5
They got the same
I failed for not even writing my name.

it's definitely my fault
the doubt of that is none

next time, i'll obviously act on them differently
next time though, i'll feel different

you have layers unending
so for you to not feel this as i do
is understandable
but for you to not try and understand
is regrettable
because i'm trying
admittedly, harder than anything else
guess that's why i'm struggling

Have you ever seen a smile
that made you turn away with glee
have you ever felt a face so close
eyes contacting
like a particle collision.
This will end in a heavy mess, and yet -
a portrait with such warmth.
radiating in a such a way star beams envy it's smirk.
and supernovae would **** for the smile.
when you look at me I know
I'm here
I'm real
I'm alive
These thoughts bring tiny Heat deaths to my chest
expanding forever
I might never exhale, if only to draw in the moment
and die with it inside me.
but, I won't
superfluous words merely orbit my skull
with a stronger gravity
pulling them further from you
tearing chucks of me elsewhere
until eventually your warm glow, is merely
a scintillation

ughH i hate
hatE feeling lonely
its like everything inside me is being
suuuuuuuuuuucked out.
and on top of that
my motivation has g o n e
d
o
w
n
the drain
so even normal tasks are a struggle :(
theselfpity
is at an allll time low
just seing others happy with their friends or just being active makes me feel jealous
i just want someone to embrace me and tell me ethery things okay
and i know im overacting but i cant help it;;;