I'll get up today,
Tomorrow I promise,
Soon I will rise from my bed.

I will lift my feather weighted;
My stone weight body up in a minute.

Just need some space,
Stop knocking on my door.
I'm getting up soon, I promise you
Or am I promising myself now?

Waking up, no I was awake all along;
Though I haven't lifted myself from the mattress,
For quite sometime, tomorrow I promise.

I'm drained from head to soul,
Not gaining anything from getting up, so I will lay here.

So tired, just wish to lay here and sleep.

I agree their is no real purpose
Nor great achievement to stay in bed,
But today and yesterday I have been drained head to soul.

Eating away at me,
Digging into my flesh,
And grinding down my bones,
It festers inside of me.

Slowly it feeds,
Leaving me feeling absent;
Amongst my own emotions.

Its to deep inside,
For me to cut away at.
Leaving me staring off,
Trying to go to space in my mind,
Because the fog isn't as frighten as the deep,
Imbibed emotion.

Left sitting for days,
Waiting for something,
To end this hopelessness that has made home,
In my hollow cage which is my body.

There's something so magnetic about the colour grey.
  It's neither dark nor light.
Not evil or good.
It's a calm colour of silence.
And it's comforting too.
It's easy for me to float in gray clouds.
Lay in grey sheets.
Even talk to the stone graves.
Despite the ugliness in the world, there are still splashes of love and wonder around.
But as the sands run by, I feel weaker and I just want to stay put
in silence.
The brilliance of white permeates through every corner though the world itself is stripped of it day by day.
The shadows of blackness wrap around us from time to time. It can be easy to succumb and surrender.
I'm so tired, so drained.
I just want to sleep and stay lost in the grey...

Picture this:
Girl jumps up and down her bed lip syncing
Whitney's ' Dance with Somebody'
Girl cries every single time she watches a good love story
A helpless romantic she is

I was that girl
So when the day came
I fell HARD!
No shocker there
Thinking I was blessed because he fell harder
We were Adam and Eve in Eden
Before the biting of the apple
In our birthday suits without a care
Or a fear of prying eyes

And then it was all gone
Yanked from us
Futility became our reality
The naivety that was our future
I learnt it was never ours to keep
Evicted! we are to move
Onto our separate chapters
For vain had been my (our) inputs

Picture this:
Now
26 years 6months old
All drained out
Girl jumps up and down her bed lip syncing
No more , nothing left just
A Door hanger
That screams
'EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE'

©Belema.S.Ekine
(belemascribbles)