I feel like a phone that has been used all day,
Until it's breaking Point
like it has reached its lowest battery percentage,
until its dead
I feel emotionally drained.

I give i,-I give, and I give
until I've given my everything.
Until the end I feel like no one cares about
giving me a single thing, I feel used and ignored
and when lm Finally recharged Im being picked up
again...

writing in fugue states
distress, take me
and give me dizziness
only to see black
what mistake
made me so
today, was too late
that i should have noticed before

the body falters

A damsel in distress I am,
To your satisfaction,
I wish I knew more of this but the sky was too limited,
Paying my bills to this Universe,
For all that love and all the hatred I was always so capable of!
To your satisfaction
An animal too sweet
sacrificed a much too sweet pitiful animal, supernatural,
Too bitter a cause.

And I am also a feral beast,
Ferociously eating my sandwich,
My part of the sandwich, you won't touch!
My share of wonders, all mine, all mine...
God... sorry... I am too forgiving...
Yes, you may have it, you poor much more famished beast...

And I am a teller of fortune,
Your life was all to beautiful,
You may live in the past...
The future is for the ones who want to last forever....

And I am a changer of pasts, combining
Your Universe lost with mine,
My planet a place for you _only if apart.

But I am lovable.... oh well, I used to be...
Maybe I don't remember correctly
How things should be!

A fool’s worst fear is the one of people understanding him
How many people in the world despise themselves?
How many pretend not to?
A fool’s brain doesn’t work the same as others do
Very obviously a fool’s brain is too close to a fool’s heart
And if you think love is a battlefield, now you must wonder how a fool must feel
Banging, screaming on doors and beds
Self loathing is apparently free in his head
Small oddities in this world, like you and me
Our fears have no name, like you and me
Voice cracks, tears fall, nose sniffles yet our mouths stay closed
Why’s that broken one?

GIRL, DO STAND STILL FOR A WHILE, PLEASE

It's the wind, I'm rocking in the wind

HEAR! HEAR!

Have a look, my grains are blown by the wind

THERE'S NO NEED TO FANCY YOURSELF, PLEASE

I don't fancy anything!

YOU DO, YOU ARE BEING VERY TALL

Sometimes I'm rather tall indeed

HIGH WINDS BLOW ON HIGH HILLS, DID YOU FEEL IT?

It sang in my ears. Ssssssss…..

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. PLEASE DO AGAIN

Ssssssss….. Help! The wind broke me!

GIRL I HEAR CRACKS IN THE WIND. IS THAT YOU?

Help!

GIRL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PLEASE?

The wind quakes me

PLEASE DO!

It's said that the longer you try to keep something away, the deeper it's impression has on you. I fell even harder this time. I wasn't sure if this was love or guilt, it kept me at bay - it felt the same.

The first day i ever loved her, must have been or perhaps should have been the day i cherish the most; instead, it became the day that trips me over and shoves me deep into a pit of sorrow and guilt. I can't seem to get out of it. I hurt the only love of my life.

Call me depressed, maniac or just a socially awkward ****, it doesn't matter, the day i made her cry all over again, caused her pain - I became all of it.

Not only did I deprive her of all the happiness and laughter she deserved, but I also filled her with doubt, distress and hatred. I birthed Pain which cripled me with anxiety and hopelessness. As a parent it should have been my duty to look after her, but my anguished soul abandoned her. I didn't dare think about how it must have terrorised her, yet when I look at her, seeking mercy, I see her pretty face, scarred by my pathetic self: laughing, hiding too much behind that pretty smile.

If only I could make her happy. If only I could look after her without fragmenting her soul even more.