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Sam Maye Mar 9
A glance out a window
every time I raise up
up into the air
from the ground;
a single push up
one after another
thin.
thinner.
keep going
til your lungs hurt
and your back bruises
and then do some more.
Why am I set
to self destruct??
welp
Caitlin Feb 18
Is there a goal plan for how many miles to run
Before I don't hate seeing myself naked?
Do the months I pay for a gym membership
Get cashed in for a few more nights of feeling worthy
than I normally have?
Is there a sports bra to hold in the cravings?
Or even just to do what its designed to.
I never really understood sports bras.
What diet do I need to go on
so that I can love myself again?
Esmé Jan 31
Starving, dreaming, bleeding.
You stand emotionless, I’m screaming.
Bottles shake, produce results.
Less food for me, desire, insults.
Keep moving, show love.
No one will know, hidden, dispose of.
Dizzy, draining, drowning.
Oh, another pound, astounding.
Happy, cheerful, supportive.
Oh darkness.. you are corruptive.
-elb
kk Jan 22
When will I stop feeling okay and start feeling more?
Amoy Jan 15
It’s a state of emergency
Lock down is in full effect
Soldiers have been deployed
People are running and screaming
A strong taste of chaos is in the air
The fog is so thick
The sounds of sirens is deafening
I heard someone scream suicide bomber or was it **** invasion
There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
Death is imminent and no one is safe
‪People won’t love me unless I’m thin. ‬
‪They say “be happy in your own skin.” ‬
‪But how can I be happy when I’m so fat it’s a crime. ‬
‪I want to be less then a hundred pounds but I know that will take time. ‬
‪It will take time to be beautiful and thin. Then finally I’ll be comfortable in my own skin. ‬
at one point
I couldn’t walk
five metres from
a car to a
hospital door -
way

starved for weeks
until hunger didn’t hurt,
until the numbers
blurred

at one point
I drank *****
out in the street,
drenched in rain

restrained by
two emergency
department security
guards who did not
understand why

I was smashing my
wrist into the
floor

at one point
I drank a pint
of water and made
myself sick

over and
over

rinse
repeat

I tried to die
afraid to live
scared of the
men who lurked
like spectres in
my dreams

they are the
cause of my
pain, of the
letters after
my name

a badge of
insanity

at one point
I hope to want
to live
mars Oct 2018
I don't

2. Think I will

3. Ever stop

4. Counting

5. But I can

6. Learn to live

7. Around the numbers
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