I know they say I'm allowed to feel you in ripples
It's okay to know the coming and going of that pain
And to let it go

They say that healing is thankful
My responsibility to pardon the devil

But I hope that your joy tastes like ash
That when you smile the muscles
so unused
feel tight and heavy

I hope you feel nothing in its most potent form
an empty hollow -home to ghosts

I have felt you in waves
crashing so violently in my bed
in my chair
in my head

That if i were to heal from you
feel free from you
I think I would drown instead

I hope you call misery "mom"
and ache when you crawl into bed
I hope every sip of liquor
makes you more sober

I hope you hear "I don't want you"
a thousand times over

I hope when you speak, you bite your tongue
that you bleed through your teeth and into your gums

I hope you know the kind of evil you breed
That it sneaks up on you and keeps you on your knees

I hope you know that my healing is my hating
and that I will never forgive
the devil and the visits he paid me

I hope you live long enough
to be lonely
until your very last day

And when you speak your last words
No one will be there to hear what you have to say.

A glimpse of hope
black and white
a flash to the past
my hand reaching out
trying to choke
for what is known
to be the devil
but with all the strength
in these hands
I lost to courage
as in the cracked mirror
I see my hands
on my own neck...

How long ‘til you realise
All is gone and all is futile
And there’s a way you’ve seen it all before
Felt the knife, locked the door
Thought I knew better
Thought I knew more
But there’s a way you felt I know
There’s a way you felt it I know

Better not remind me of, who I am
Better not remind me of, where I stand
But there’s a way you felt it all before

How long ‘til I realise
All your love was in disguise
As demons knocking at my door
**** the angels deafened to cry calls
Thought you knew better
Than to ****, **** with my heart
There’s a way you felt it, I know
There’s a way you felt it I know

Better not mind me of, who I am
Better remind me of, where I stand

Never thought I could feel this way
Seems to me there’s meaning in the day
You never even realised, you
Sat down and washed your eyes
But there’s a way you felt it I know
There’s a way you felt I know

Better not remind me of, who I am
Better not remind me of, where I stand
There’s a way you felt it all before

Suppose I better let her go, then i’ll never really know
Suppose I better let her go, suppose I better
Suppose I better let her go

There isn’t this this place where people go and burn after death. There is no creature with horns and spikey tail called devil waiting for bad people entering the gates to his empire. Hell is not the definition of a sphere where cruel things happen. Hell is a completely personal state of mind where your biggest fears become reality and things you were always scared of actually happen. The devil sleeps inside each of us, waiting for his opportunity to strike when our nightmares crawling their way in our lives.

I was never her air-balloon
     she was always deflating my
words that never took off.

I was grounded never reaching
      higher than she wanted me to rise.

My rope that I tried to release,
       was tied down with her negative
        weight that was pulling me down.

I was grounded never reaching
        higher than she wanted me to rise.

I was the  Hindenburg,
             she was the static that ignited me..
burning my dreams to ashes on scorched earth...

I was grounded never reaching
        higher than she wanted me to rise.

I thought she was an angel, but she was
        the devil bringing me lower than I'd
sank before. Could I sink lower than her.

I was grounded never reaching
        higher than she wanted me to rise.

But she thought she rose higher till I deflated
              her with home truths.
   Now I'm free floating higher now the weight
of my past is released.
                  I was never afraid to reach new heights
and now I'll float further now I'm free...

He's there
Reaching that hand out
In disguise of a fellow man

Grabbing you into his world
Shinning that smile
That hides his cynicals

His eyes full of wonder in the person you are
His lies locked behind what seemed to be truth in those gems of irises
Longing in a sickening desire

Love burns you alive from what seeps from him
Painless, numbed by the blindness of love
He holds you like you've never had before

He's there
Glimmering shards of white lights
The pits of fire in those wonderment of eyes
Vemon seep from the tounge.