I'm locked
Surround by chains
that lock me down,
Surround by pain
that destroys my name

I'm locked
No woman nor man
could ever wish for this
I'm drowning in hopelessness
If there was a way
to release this curse
I wouldn't have to suffer by
going through the worst
I wouldn't shred a single tear,
My body wouldn't ake
And I wouldn't be taken back
by my mistakes

Im locked
Destroyed by the life that is my own,
To the devil it feels as if I'm sold,
Every day gets dimmer
my life gets darker,
To God I am just his stocker

I'm locked
If I were to be given a second chance,
only then would my vocabulary
not be filled with I can't
Only then would I not count the minutes
Or count everyday life
as the witching hour
I wouldn't cower in the corner
Or write down death dates in my calendar
Like I used too

No
I would get a new chance at life
I wouldn't die by my own hand
And wouldn't say it was just a knife

Battered and bruised
Destroyed and rebuilt
Alone and afraid
Hurt and confused
After all that you'd think
A heart would stop
Just give up and shut down
But the heart knows
That there's still hope
There's a reason to keep loving

I just hope
That he doesn't try to come back
Because
I don't know
If I'm strong enough
To not let him back in.
I don't know
If I can look him in the eyes
And not fall back in love
With the man
Who destroyed me

you tried to repair
the home we made,
but every stair
buckled under your weight,
and every wall
peeled at your touch

Fate doesn't merely want happiness,
but pain back as well as outscreamed distress,
and buys ruin at a second-hand rate.*

{this quote comes from "The Voices}

I cannot, for the life of me, get over it.

I cannot, no matter how hard I try, forget what happened.

It is killing me.

It is destroying me.


(d.d.b)

I grew
I fell
I hoped
I loved
I was accepted
And cast out
I was belittled
And cherished
I was all those things at one point
Now I'm not

I joined this world full of love and innocence
People kept on destroying me
Yet I opened my heart further and embraced
The constant stabs the world creates
I did nothing at first
But wait
And I carried a battered piece of cloth
To clean up the decaying drops of blood
My body made

Alone

Afraid

That was my life
That is my life

People told me to open the curtains to my darkness
They were wrong
My curtains were already opened
Now they are gone
My window to dreams never closed
But it's barred tight now
The door to my heart had a welcome mat outside it
people kept dusting their feet on my mat
So I burnt my door
And sealed my heart
Killed my dreams
**And fell apart.

Smiling faces,
Empty spaces.
Explicit joking,
Anger provoking.
Juicy scoops,
Useless groups.
Hilarious memes,
Broken dreams.
Spent years,
Shed tears.
Memories destroyed,
Lost in the void