Sometimes, it's not the unbearable pain that makes you hurt yourself,

It's the emptiness, the hole on your chest, that makes you want it all to end.

I am gone
The girl I once was
Escaped with every cut
And ever name I was called
She left with the bruises
I took from you
And all the things I couldn't do
The innocent girl
Is now replaced
With a girl
Who can disappear
Into the background
A girl
Who flinches at every touch
And thinks she will get slapped
At every second

Slightly collecting on the singular
lingering moments before I was
able to pause and watch them bleed.
screaming verses muffled with duct-tape
haemorrhaging. They were my toys of
every pain I had suffered. But I bled
random thoughts on their flesh and sighed.

Words
paper cut
my skin
with unspoken
emotions
for my voice
failed to give
them their
proper justice

To those hidden under blankets, huddled close to their lovers:
     There are some among us who are wrapped in blankets of our own tears.

To those who purse their lips in a smile as soft melodies floating through the air lull you to sleep:
     There are those of us who write sleepless lullabies on our arms with the sharp embrace of the blade, our only comfort.

Words,
they cut deeper
than steel,
make you bleed more
than a bullet,
etch themselves
into your skin,
ring in your ears
and ache,
and ache,
and ache
and ****.

Countless times I've told those hurt it will be okey
Countless times I've tried to halt this still I decay
Said Its only another hour another day
Cry, cut, and die Cause im always lead astray

I shouldnt be allowed to feel this alone
I try to punish myself i try to atone

It started with sicssors and butter knifes alone in my kitchen
I told them I was suffering told them i was dying but they wouldnt listen

It escalated ya it elevated  
To something out of my control
Ive cut my arm so much im sure the blood tainted my soul

And I wont apologize and  I wont leave you any answers
I cried out to you all but you left me to this cancer

This disease called depression where suicidal thoughts are free to roam  
I cant hide from them anywhere not even safe in my own home

it begins about mid-evening,
the edges of the rug being pulled
ever so gently.
intoxicated feet
do not notice a room slipping
beneath them.

it hastens nearer to morning;
as the magic carpet ride is
coming to a close
we begin to pat our bodies
& notice the things that fell from us.
sobriety. clothes. drugs. money....
ego   walls   pain

After inventory is taken,
the day starts without waiting for
your tired eyes.
oh, the saddest meeting of eyes,
with the swiftest passing of friends, drugs, memories, laughter
evening abliss.

I am dropped,
center stage -- reality.
at the same moment the drugs wear off. the last quarter is spent. the first rays of the sun peek through
and the last meeting of eyes
as the last glimpse of a shoe
disappears at the door's edge.

the rug has been pulled
reality
and the curtains have been drawn
slumber.

Hello my blade
    My age-old friend
You've been with me
     Through thick and thin
And now I've come
     But once again
To use you now
     Once more to sin.

My life in shambles lays ahead
Behind, a falsehood, love is dead
No options, I agree, remain
So though I have, my best, 'till now refrained
I seek the bitting edge once, evermore
To ease the pain which ever-beats its sore

And as I open flesh-ed wounds to scar
So my soul numbs, heart as black as tar
The pain, it blessed, ebbs away quickly
And I can breathe again, rattling, sickly

No cure for panic, loss, and crippling pain
Have I found, but blood, which falls like rain
Not of a Savior, Christ within
But of the broken drowned in sin