i want things to be normal, but they never will be.
and i just want to cry, i wish you never kissed me.
i wish you would have never pretended to like me, or care for me
because i could see on your face today that you clearly never did.
i just wish you never would have tried to.
it hurts so bad that i am starting to wish i had listened to the people telling me not to talk to you, two years ago.
i wish i could go back in time and undo it all and i am sure you do too..

I say I don't like you
         Try to convince myself the feelings are gone
Pretend to be okay with all of this

         Then I watch you run
Your fingers through your hair
         And my heart drops

You do not have to be strong and try not to cry
Crying helps and brings you better thinking
Crying brings you salvation and liberation

my tears come in different colors
weeping in teal, the same color as your eyes
crying in violet, the same color that lies under my own
sobbing in pink, the same color of the blemishes on my face
whimpering in gray, the same color as the stressed hairs on my head
wallowing in gold, the same color I swore her heart was.
none of which are primary.

©L.F.

Can you see it?
Can you see the tears that make my world blurry?
Can you see the scars in my heart and arms?
Can you see my pain when I hear your name?
Can you see my eyes slowly dying?
NO
No you don't see me crying
No you don't see my pain
Because its hidden with a soft smile

I love that its raining
Makes me think the sky is crying for me
That its putting a whole show for the world to see
Showing the world i'm too tired to cry
So its crying and screaming for me
I love that its raining

the tears were traitors,
I tried so hard not to cry
repeating the words mom always said,
"boys aren't worth your tears"
but slowly they fell from my heavy lids
one by one, mocking me
while they left their stains of exhaustion
with the streaks left on my cheek,
the tears were traitors


©L.F.

sitting here, quarter past two
crying my eyes out listening to you

deserving the hurt i feel
from what i put you through

i never wanted to be the one to bring you pain
but darling, it’s quarter past two and you’re crying again.