There will always be a time, when he is leaving me.

He leaves now, as a test for what is to come. This month I will be alone, and the only things I will have are the technological communications to suffice for my emotional cravings. His body won't be here. I won't be able to hear him take in deep and peaceful breaths. I won't be able to look up to see his eyes gazing down at me, or him attempting to mask an ever so slight smile on his lips. He won't be here to take my face into his hands, to kiss my forehead, my eyelids, my nose, my lips. His kisses will be whispers in the wind, traveling far distances to keep our relationship alive.

In a few months, he will depart for what I fear is to be for good. He is going take on the world and to live his life. He is going to give true beauty to the world with his alluring smile, and show the world what it is like to truly be passionate about something. I do support his every move, I do.

However

I am utterly terrified because he soon will become a memory. A sweet reminiscence of what I had. His being will become merely an image in my mind, instead of a concrete person in front of me. I am sad to say it, but I am realizing that I am selfish. Because I need him here. With me.

There are always times where he will go off, to do greatness. This is my curse for falling for a free spirit. I just hope and pray that there will always be a time when he comes back.

i crave the taste
of stale cigarettes and beer
cuz it was the taste of your mouth
what happened here?

i long for
the misspelled drunk texts
that once annoyed me
phone buzzes i flinch, reflex.

i ache for
the feeling of your chest
under my head as i fall asleep
only way i could rest

i hunger for
your love
-all to myself
we never should of.

You're gone

I crave your touch
Your scent
Your embrace
I crave the way your finger tips traced my face
I long for that phase
When we were madly in love

"Silly girl", they say
He's gone

Some people crave
Fear,
Adrenaline,
Things that stir them awake
Set ablaze
A fire
That brings light to the dark
Your eyes
Are my fear
My adrenaline
They are scary and exciting

There are some people in this world who bring out the best in you. And then there are those who bring out the worst. But there is a third type, the rare kind of person that is extremely hard to find. This is the kind of person that brings out the most in you, whether it be good or bad.

They make you cry at ten pm and then make you laugh hysterically at three am. They gingerly trail their thumb along yours while holding your hand and then stay horribly silent when they see tears tumbling down from your eyes.  They make you love the arguments, because everything they say is driven by ardor instead of acrimony. They make you begin to recognize the genuine affection that is hidden in the smallest of smirks.

They don't gently wipe away your tears and tell you it will be okay, but pick you up by the arm and tell you that yes, life will ******* over. Because they know that this is what is going to get you to finally stand up for yourself.  They tell you blatantly when your jokes ****, and insist on better ones. They make you feel so alive that you know you would follow them straight into hell if it means you can keep getting your fix. They cry easily, but due to the fact that they feel so much, and so much of it is for you.

They aren't your significant other, but they sure as hell give you a significant life.

Your lips pressed softly to mine,
and I swear to god the world stopped.
My heart beat faster,
and my mind went blank.

Months later,
Your hands traced the curve of my back,
and it caused shivers up my spine.
My heart skipped a beat,
and my mind was flooded with thoughts of you.

You held my hand everywhere we went,
and I knew that I was in love.
My heart swelled with happiness,
and my mind couldn't focus on anything but you.

You held me when we watched films,
and I began to crave your arms around me.
My heart longed for you,
and my mind thought of nothing but being in your arms.

You have my heart in your hands,
and have taken over my mind.