Dance to my tune
Puppet of puppets
Think to yourself that you are in control
Let me control you with strings of Steele
Forever remain in my shadow you will.

Know your god or gods
But know that I am the one in control
I control true fear true anger true hate
I am what's wrong with this world
I am what governs justice
I am what you seek to accomplish.

But you cannot abolish me
For I am your god
And without me you are lost

Those who do have me govern the world
For I am power in a material form
So dance about to my tune
I am money and you are my slave

Work for me everyday
Slave away till your bones give out
Remember I am the only thing with power
And with me you too can control justice
So take my hand as puppet under my control

No boy will ever
want to **** me

if I forget
to put on makeup
in the mornings
lips red as Eve's forbidden fruit
succulent enough to
bite
tongue
devour
go down
cuz my nose don't
look so My-Big-Fat-Greek-Wedding
mountainous-side-profile
when it's caked in highlighter

if I have short hair
because short hair means
I'll look too masculine
in the ninth grade I
had a pixie cut
faith
trust
pixie dust
I could feel
my light burning out

(I never did believe in myself)

if I'm not thin
starve
binge
purge
two finger diet
VSCO diet
have you seen
the lovely girls
on the internet
in their
tight bodysuits
Coke Zero
figures
MVP
VIP
they'll get first access
to his ****


if I'm a *****
cuz how will anyone know
what you've really
got to flaunt
when you have to wear
a uniform to school
frumpy plaid kilt
white polo shirt
every button a barrier
like the notches
on his belt
tie coiled
a noose
around your neck
every casual day
I wear fishnet stockings
***** necklines
with push up bras
even though
I'm already a D
cuz I gotta get that D
gotta compensate
for being a ****** somehow




if I don't shave my
legs
stomach
*****
three days before high school graduation
I bought a thong
and got my first Brazilian wax
even though I didn't have
still don't have
a boyfriend
but I wanted him
to be my boyfriend
thought I should be prepared
thought maybe when he saw me
clad in
cleavage
periwinkle
floor-length gown
blue Converse peeking out
from underneath the tulle
I'd be his
Belle of the Ball
that he'd
take me
**** me

love me

but how could any boy
ever love me
in all of my
warped-perspective
grief-possessive
passive-aggressive
self-ob­sessive
manic-depressive
glory


how could any boy
ever love me
after reading
this poem?

I came from a galaxy
But I ended up here
Where I met a young one
Who I grew to like

I kept a diary
And wrote my feelings
One by one
Words began to appear

One night, I had a dream
Where I met the darkness
We stared together
"Crybaby," it called me

I woke up, with him at my side
He was still my friend
But, deep down, something wasn't right

I told him about the dream
I don't know, I don't know
A voice was heard, it wasn't his
I cried, and only he heard me

A drawing of us and the ocean
It was beautiful, but I couldn't say
The darkness called out to me
01001000011001010110110001110000

The darkness saw me again
A place known as Eigengrau
A shade of black, not known but beautiful
And I fell into the sea

01010111011010000111100100111111

I knew I wasn't a crybaby
My friend knew that as well
He cared for me, no matter what
He was a friend

I felt faint, so very much
Why must I feel this way?
The darkness is aware of me
And I can't do anything

I felt sick, so very much
The darkness felt pity
Did he feel love for me
A forbidden love, it seems

0100111001101111001011100010111000101110

I knew about his love for me, and I did too
My cheeks grew redder

I'm fine, I'm fine

My friend could be stupid

I hit him, I hit him

Does he still like me?

But

but

i needed the darkness

i needed eigengrau

why am i so cold

help me

there's a crack in my face

no

no

Now we're here, together
I don't need my old friend
All I need is the darkness and myself
In the cold, black ocean I call my happy place

010100100110100101100111011010000111010000111111

I'm sorry about before, I was blinded with love
My friend was there, but I doubted his efforts
Was he really that nice?
The darkness was nicer

After all, he gave me a beautiful sword

But then, I saw him

010000010110111001100100001000000100100100100000011010110110­10010110110001101100011001010110010000100000011010000110100101101­101

I love the darkness, and it loves me back

I never wanted to **** him.
I really was a monster, and I was too blind to notice.
Why, why? Why must this happen to me?

Save me.
The darkness wants me. It lusts for me.
I shouldn't lust for it back.
I don't want to fall into insanity.

Save me, please.
From these bloodstained pages.
My shell, it'll come off, but...
I don't want it to.
I'm so cold.
I don't like this.
Save me, please.

Save me!
My shell, it's coming off!
I don't know how to stop it!
Someone, anyone!
NONONONONONONONONONONO-




Eventually, all that was left was darkness.
And me.
Together.

FOREVER.

Bounded by time, by space, for eternity.
My red eyes illuminating, glowing.
Forever, we shall stand.
In Eigengrau.

I wasn't a monster.
I am not a savage.
I am a knight, protecting the darkness from the light.
Forever, until the end, we shall stand.
The black, empty flowers blooming.
An old diary stands, unopened for years.

The darkness and I would fly away, into the stars, loving each other.
Nothing would tear us apart.
And all who opened it, would suffer.

Wilt, wilt in silence, among the bustle.
An overcast prevails upon you.
Escape, and drown — submerge yourself in the system
Become the system;
harrowing sights have you experienced?
Harrowing sights you shall assume.
There is no escape, only entry.
Prevail or fail — to win or to care.
Such is the system of this land, the cesspools of vice are stagnant on top, ******* the light that makes it past the cover of clouds, famished are those who reside under.
Yet, every so often, a ripple of water drops into the river of despair — its energy coursing through the minuscule circumference of its impact— and it sits, sits atop the filthy black waste and slowly diffuses…
into the filth as though it belonged, to oppress those who bear the same burden.

Seeping up out of the ground,
Into my ***** pipe…
Seeping, seeping, not lost, nor found.
The Earth, as plucked, is ripe.
For oil is my blackness-lust,
And verily; my tune...
For I will rend this world to dust,
To keep my Silver-Spoon.

Now
I
See
Them

Lost
In
Evident
Sight

Nobody marching toward us
Their guns making us die.
No tanks are come clanking
No bombers in the sky.
But our Congress and generals
When oil or bases seem needed;
We appear armed and threatening
Peace and love talk not heeded.

No country has attacked us
With troops and lethal artillery.
But our leaders expect us to
Go open up their arteries
And **** their women and children
And laugh while they all die
And we are expected to do this
And never think to ask why.

It’s almost like big companies
Were sad when WW2 ended
So they started attacking countries
We really should have befriended.
We let Russia have free reign
To **** and ****** and steal
Almost as if their aggression
Wasn’t really true or even real.

We looked around and made them,
Those evil old warlike excuses,
That some country threatened freedom
And we pretended they weren’t ruses.
We attacked Korea and Vietnam
We were just supposed to observe
That they were yellow people there
And think they got what they deserved.

We didn’t stop there, as Reagan took
A duly elected leader and put him in jail.
If any country did that to our country
The conservatives would howl and rail.
Then the Bushes tried their best to take
Iraq to steal their oil and punish them
And created an era of stronger hatred
And anti-American outrage and mayhem.

No foreign country has attacked America;
So, the point bears repeating once again.
We need to stop acting like bullies here
And start acting like decent statesmen
And women who have the bigger picture;
The growth of peace in our battered world
So, other countries will not take their guns
And shoot our flag when it’s unfurled.