These last few months left a bad taste in my mouth;
The bad taste of dagger flavoured alcohol,
Of too much ****, cough syrup and coke.

This month left me empty and broke,
I want to choke out the truth to you but some things are too painful to speak--

I never imagined something so painful wouldn't bleed.

I
Miss
You
The good, the bad, everything.
When you were happy, sad, mad, flat out numb from the acid.
I loved it. I loved you, all of you.
What I loved the most about you was your smile.
It was lopsided and dorky, you teeth weren't perfect but I loved them anyways.
And your light brown eyes hung low, you looked like a predator.
But the only thing you killed were my sides because you were tickling me.
And I know it sounds cliche but I don't care,
You were my everything.
Those times you held me when I cried, you were my everything.
When you made me smile, you were my everything.
Watching the re-runs of Family Guy and throwing popcorn at each other, you were my everything.
God, even when we screamed and yelled at each other, you were my everything.
Even when we made love and I lit a cigarette after and you called it 'gross' but you'd snort up a line so quickly it was insane...
You were my everything and even though you've left me behind and you'll never me able to come back to me...
Able to kiss me, hold me, yell at me, even just touch me
You
Are
My
Everything.

you swallow glass to
cleanse your insides
and make room for
clear cut crystals.
holding hope out
in a dish for more
more high flying
death defying
pixie dust.

Life is not a garden of fragrant flowers,
Life is a chef's kitchen;
Some things get burnt,
Some are frozen,
In the end, it all tastes well.

Life is not a cycle ride down a smooth road,
Life is a bumpy journey uphill;
There are sharp, blind turns
Plus an upward *****,
But the view is magnificent.

Life is not a perfect picture captured by a DSLR,
Life is a photograph shot with a 1.3 megapixel camera;
With no editing allowed,
The sky looks blurred through it,
When actually it is clear.  

Life is not a cup of Starbucks coffee,
Life is a glass of Coke;
It is cold,
Addictive at times,
Mostly, fizzy and sparkling.

Life is not-
Seeing the glass half full.
Just appreciating as is;
*Simply, beautiful.

Lars lifts opens the toilet seat. The hinge squawks and he mimics the sound with his mouth. A dumb smile folds out on his face like someone unrolling a beach towel. He sits without dropping his pants or underwear. The cops are just about to leave through the screen door. Maggie offers a departing sacrament of right out of the oven of crispy flakey Pillsbury biscuits. They wave their hands parallel to the ground refusing. Maggie pulled the biscuits out too early. The bottoms are tan and dimensional but the tops are sloppy. They look like they have a glaze but they don’t have a glaze. They are pasty but still hot to the touch. The pan is hot. Maggie is wearing maroon oven mitts. One of the cops gets his foot snagged on the throw rug. They walk with their heads down but don’t notice the curled edges of the throw rug. They notice a black pug named Roger instead and nearly avoid fumbling over him. The cops scatter outside quickly like ducklings crossing the street. Lars’ dumb smile lingers and he laughs with a shushing lisp. He reaches between his legs into the toilet bowl. His hand disturbs the water. His nose is bleeding. Maggie closes the doorwall after the cops leave. The cops left the screen open. Maggie reopens the doorwall, closes the screen, shakes her head, and then closes the doorwall again. The kitchen is humming with improper wires. The light is electric pastel blue. The linoleum is too ***** to sleep on. Maggie’s ******* can be seen through her shirt. Lars wipes his nose with his arm and shoulder. He is hunched digging into the toilet bowl. He pulls out a baggie with a twist tie on top. The baggie looks reused. Maggie enters under the frame of the door and her lips roll out like a beach towel. The ******* in the baggie is very very dry.

a tab, a hit, a smoke,
lets roll, lets drink, lets ****.

my pupils shrink, and then dilate
another line confirms my fate

such pure, unprecedented ecstasy
takes all my pain away from me

a tab, a hit, a pill,
a smoke, a dab, a thrill.

no judgement, fear, regret,
as we make another bet,

i can take another dab
if you can take another tab.

too much, its done, too late
the addict has found her mate.

School
Seven
******
Hours
Of
Our
Lives,
Feels like we're tied
Up in a world
Full of people trying to
bring us down.
In four years I've watched
My best friends' smiles
Turn to frowns
Only to be replaced by
Red lines on skin,
Straight like the coke she snorts
Just to get high
And FEEL something
For a little while.

Nothing can match the feeling of drinking fresh spring water
Well, an ice cold coca-cola will do just fine too.