There is a hole inside my chest.
I didn‘t ask it to be there
I don‘t know where it came from
But it doesn‘t seem to care.

Everytime I see a glimpse of serenity
it taints me again:
A corrupting presence
strangling my spine
choking my soul.

What has changed?
Where is the cause?
I‘ve lost ascendancy
over the demons I thought
to have slain long ago.

Again I‘m afraid.
Afraid to speak too much,
afraid to be silent for too long.
Afraid to be me
and afraid to disguise myself.

It seems my fortune has vanished
from my control.
And in dark moments
the only thing that‘s left
is the fear that
something has changed
irreversibly.

What once got close
seems to drift apart again
before it could begin to coalesce.
And I stand weak
before my inner chaos.

My mind is a maze
and I have lost the map.
How am I supposed to find my way back
with this chasm in my head?

~

My confidence is torn.

~

There is a hole in the sky
and it slowly pulls me in.
Will it erase me or cleanse me?
And will the scourge inside of me
finally die?

Baptised by the rain, by your companion's tears and by the pouring dripping fear.
Step down, my love, from the dark clouds into the muck; into the mire of my soul.
White you once were and white you will become. Be still, my love and see me tear.
See me rip and roar with pain, begging, kneeling before the face of it. The face of the Abyss.
See me falling. See me bleeding into the river, the mighty torrent.
Above us is a holy light. Look up, my love. Look up and fly.

We're  not
cleansed until  
               we've been *****.

We search seas for rough
cleansing, but
some times, some new
some old,
we search for her to lap away
the warmth in our sun-born flesh,
to ease away the white-hot-heat and frenzy,
till her cold wet fatigue may kiss us full
of calm, of passivity, of loftiness, of sea-foam docility
and to chill our temperment some.
Sip her blessings, child,
but I warn you, her cup overfloweth
and in your wanting,
your pining doubt,
an open mouth spells a ominous quiet,
and a hushed sigh of grief--
for the sea mourns your passing--
or rather, the passing of the warmth
she grasped too quickly at
when your heavy head dipped too low
too weakly, and bright eyes closed cold
and meekly.

Gray Clouds
A Cold Sprinkle
Life Is New Again

They speak of
An immaculate sky.
White and bland,
Lacking depth.

It's a blank canvas
I shan't deny,
Here we are reborn.

Within the breath of love,
Is where you are kept.

l.v.s


Apply vibrant colour to bare skin
The cleansing light
Through a hollow shell
Slipping between the cracks

Light and transcendent
You lay me with gentle grace
Submerged in ardent passion

Have your light consume
What resides inside

Purify all that I am,
Together set free.

z.w.b