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Ellen Joyce Jul 14
The streets were filled with people;
Hustling, jostling, synchronised
scooting like a school of fish
humming excitedly, civilised.

A sudden surge of noise,
cacophonous shouts
Water Of Life springs forth
amidst the fractious routs.

I see the crown of his head;
He is loveliness and light,
and though I try to get to him,
I stumble and fall amidst the fight.

And I, a grain on the threshing floor
am trampled under foot
these years of pain and suffering
have not made me splinter-proof, but

I know that He can save me,
heal my body, mind and soul
I reach to touch the hem of His garment
and instantly I am whole.

He stops and asks “who touched my clothing?”
My entire being begins to shake,
with empty legs I kneel before Him,
I confess that my thirst, He slake.

His eyes burned into mine,
filled with love I have never known before
and with one breath He blew the chaf
and gathered me from the threshing floor.
Ellen Joyce Jun 26
Before my sin caused my suffering -
You built me a church;
Surrounded me with praying sisters
and gave me Your Word.
El Roi - mercy beyond mercy;
The goodness of my God.

Before madness engulfed me
You called me back to Your arms,
taught my heart a new rhythm
and my soul a new song.
El Shaddai - love beyond measure;
the goodness of my God.

Before I walked a step onto a ward,
You recycled my past;
Built with it understanding and hope,
turned darkness to light.
Jehovah Jireh - nothing is wasted with You;
the unfathomable goodness of my God.

For every pain - a comfort O Father.
For every joy - all thanks to Adonai.
I will follow You praising every day Jehovah Raah.
My every breath is for you Yahweh.
Ellen Joyce Jun 26
I part my lips to speak to find my mouth a desert place.
My parched palette, rough upon my tongue;
numb - struck dumb
by a depth and breadth beyond words.

But You, O Lord
You know my every thought.
You hear the hurt beat out at my heart.
You feel all I feel, but deeper still.

My God, who holds a jar of my tears;
a myriad of moments,
yet You can match dop for drop,
whilst keeping the whole world turning in the palm of your hand.

On my knees I come;
willing myself to be still.
I need only be still.
Still You hear my soul speak.
Ellen Joyce Jul 14
You reached out your hand
I gave you an onion set -
Grubby and crisp,
torn from the land.
You cradled it in your arms and
though it’s layers stung, sang a quiet lament.
Gnarled and wild, its roots tangled,
mining salt, a sweeter scent.

Dirt smeared your palms
but you held tight, singing psalms
planting it in God’s rich earth,
patiently guiding it skyward when it slid back-
And it slid so often its sprouts screamed
as the maggots came forth, split at the seams.

Some days you came with parsley
Others with meaningful song -
Teaching green shoots to dance in the wind,
bask in the Son, trust in the Father, stay strong.
Praying the roots to anchor in tight
Chasing out darkness with glorious light.

I reached out my hand
She gave me an onion set -
grubby and crisp,
torn from the land.
I cradled it in my arms and
knew just what to do -
heart fixed on the Lord,
I whispered “Jesus loves you”.
For my spiritual mother who led me to the Lord, built safe foundations and loved me when I gave her every reason not to and prayed for me relentlessly and faithfully though I have given her too many reasons to pray. I can do what I do for others, in large part because of you.
Ellen Joyce Jun 2013
Ten thousand nights have laid themselves down before me
and I have played the princess in the tower oh so well.
The perfect aryan child tucked up behind veils of delusional dream,
to sleep to wander into places where damsels save themselves.
And in such splendor the masks do fall like autumn leaves,
crisp and changed - each fallen and forgotten under foot.
But hair grew much too fast beneath garments as mole hills became mountains
and irony of ironies I caught my goldie locks in a leaf covered bear trap-
ensnared in biting pain I did wait for my knight and trusty steed -
but my prince was the villain; a scenario I was unprepared for
lost in delusion while he mawled my once ivory skin,
till it bled; my blood irreparably tarnished by his seed.
And the nights kept falling one by one,
slowly to their knees or else dying a savage death by blade or flame -
and for my part I have lived them.
Unprepared for such madness, armed only with fairytales
I have fought a battle I never could win.
And the people came. I let them in, wove threads of trust, only
to taste the milk of human kindness and choke on its bitterness.
And so I shrank from the world like the tortoise to its shell
and I climbed my tower, bolted the door - I cut my hair short.
So I sit by a tiny window with animal-kind to kiss my scars.
People grab at me but I am out of reach and there I shall stay
some day the Prince shall come and from now on I will trust only in Him.
Written 2010
I call to you from bruised knees,
amidst a haze of my own humanness
in a blood-smeared tunic
with dirt in my nail beds
tear stains on my face
and you are waiting.
Arms spread wide and love in your eyes.
“You are mine”,
And my heart slows -
because I am yours.

You know my heart –
every muscle and sinew,
you built to the frame of my bones
breathed your design into every cell
and numbered the hairs on my head.

And so, whilst I battle confused against my fingers
Gripping like iron clamps to burdens,
refusing to give them up though I so want to let go -
You are not surprised.
I don’t understand.
You didn’t ask me to.
And from the depths of my soul song rises
whispered, ragged almost at first
to praise the One who never changes
who is always trustworthy
whose arms are spread wide and waiting
a heart felt Hallelujah.
My concerns might be great, yet my hopes soar higher.
Life tugs at my spirit, but God anchors me in his boundless peace.
I gaze at the towering oak trees around me, and a quiet smile spreads across my face because, like them, my roots stand strong against the storms that have just passed.
The wind whispers gently through their branches, creaking and swaying in an ancient melody, yet they remain undeterred, thriving and striving to touch the sky with their heights.
Their hearts have felt sorrow, but that pales in comparison to the joy they hold.

-Rhia Clay
There is no end to God's mercy.
There is no end to his strength.
For this, I give praise.
With this knowledge, I am replenished.
With this understanding, I find my way.

-Rhia Clay
My neurodivergent mind is overwhelmed with pressure, struggling under the weight of the sea.
Yet, amidst the chaos, God reaches down to pull me from the depths and set my spirit free.

-Rhia Clay
eliana Jul 28
It was until today I realized I've been wrong this whole time.
Doing wrong.
I went to the house of God and I was taught and taught.
I sat there and kneeled and prayed and cried until the floor was
DRENCHED.
My face filled with sorrow,
As IF!! IF!! THERE WERE NO TOMORROW.
I see You Father.
I need you Father.
I want you Father!!!
So i say now, I welcome you into my life, I GIVE you my life.
For God all i need is your love, your care, your warmth, and I worship you.
I do Father.
I.
Do.
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