There is nothing worse than what I've done. I am the lowest a person can sink. I know this for sure now, because when the person who loved you more than anyone else and who actually cared about you tells you that you are the worst person, you need to believe it. I made excuses, I told lies, I was a coward, and none of it matters anymore. I could talk about how I feel right now, but it wouldn't change anything, it doesn't matter. I don't matter anymore. But there really is no where for me to go right now but up, I need to change everything about me. I destroyed her worse than anyone else, but who cares what I say. Or how I feel. She doesn't love me. She doesn't care about me. And she has no reason to love or care.

I, who cannot count the slap that I recieved
From the people whom I decieved
I, the person who cannot be contented
Will now address this experience as something splendid


I am a cheater in the eyes of the judgementals
As for they see me as falling leaves and petals
Someone who will never be happy
And a person who only deserve pity


You called me heartless
But I told you I loved you when I confessed
You thought everything was fake
But it is the toxic which I can't even take


I know this is a sin as for I am unfaithful
The girl whom you called an angel
Is a person who has the tail of a devil
But this is only the start of secrets which I'm about to reveal

And suddenly he became the nothingness in my heart.

I cheated again
For a change
It was for me
Didn't know
It will come with
Hard feelings
For other
Neither expected
Said she
Falling tears
From both of their
Eyes
I wz numb
Didn't feel
Nothing just
Heartbeat banging me
Inside
Hanging tears from
Her eyes
Rainy day
It was
Everyone running
Around
I can't move
Lots of weight
On me
I hold tightly
To that pain
Didn't set it free !

How stupid can one be...
to fall in love
with best friend´s man?

How stupid can one be...
to fall in love again?

This time with his friend...

How stupid can one be...
to tell everything to another friend?

Rather than do
unforgivable things with them!

Just one kiss
on his lips
would be enough for me
to bury the desire
*deep inside

''I picked you over her''
should have been the first red flag.
''Shorty'' saved in his phone is another.
He knew I'd never evade his privacy, so he never had to hide anything.
I cared
but I trusted
I was scared
yet I believed in him
He stopped caring
I kept loving
He was gone
I was still trying
He told me I wasn't enough
I assured him I was.
He left
with a ''maybe in the future''


I grew stronger within time
I don't hate him for what he did. But I don't like him for his vile ways. I am worthy of something better than him. He will forever be my first lover, but he wont be the last. for him, it was a loss. Im sure he realizes it now. Tragic.

You knew that I would fall apart,
the night you texted her
to come over.
left me wondering what other lies you told me, what truth you told her.

I can't look at you the same,  knowing what I tried to get back in my life ,you told me I wasn't enough, that you thought the burning sensation of alcohol was more of a flame than our love ever was.

you both knew id be burning inside that night, both of you knew you had killed the love of a first love.

I don't ask for your love anymore.
I realize the pain will stop, and I am a queen and you are not worthy.