She doesn’t deserve a chance
You’ve given hundreds more
Than she would ever need
All while she slept comfortably.

She doesn’t deserve a chance
You’ve offered thousands more
Than she would ever realized
All while she viewed simply.

She doesn’t deserve a chance
You’ve offerend millions more
Than she would ever believe
All while she thought easily.

I deserve the precious chance
You haven’t offered one
That I would take with love
All while I dreamt widely.

I deserve a chance.

my body craves joy
for that I surround myself
  
             I. in bright colors and chances
             in hopes I can catch them
             when I’m ready
  
             II. in false flora and sturdy plants
             that stay even when i dont
             that thrive even when I wont
  
i keep a fan blowing
on me at all times
so that I remember
what movement feels like

You knew I would be yours
the moment you laid eyes on me
                                        Looking at you I wanted something more
                                        but I clearly didn't see
You asked me out one night in my car
hoping to hear a yes
                                        my thoughts lingered far
                                        till a day or two later you got a yes
we set a date to go to the mall
playing mini golf and eating at Bubba Gump Shrimp
                                       I had put up a small wall
                                      dressing in jeans and a sweatshirt feeling a bit
                                      wimpy                
You seemed as if you wanted to hold my hand
but couldn't get to it
                                   I admit I was nervous but wouldn't let you land
                                   even though I would have been lit
We left and I dropped you off at home
Hoping to be another day
                                        I felt a bit alone
                                        but I know I had more to say
I managed to be like glue and stick
you wanted to see me more but not over tea
                                       One day, for two months I got sick
                                       that wasn't my plan you see
you came and stayed
holding me in your arms
                                      I felt so weak all I could do was pray
                                      You had me under your spell of charms
Months later here we are
stuck tighter than glue and more like tar
                                     I'm glad you asked me
                                    giving you a change was the best thing
                                    I almost didn't see

Fears find its voices before the sleeping Child inside me!!!

The faint voice of hope Still breathing heavily to let me feeL its presence....

The unseen but felt hope, touches my strayed soul to get me back to right path...

Peace was my theme!
Loneliness was my rule!
Mystery was unknown touch!

And still looking for answers, and tired of searching for logic of each question!

Mind is screaming for a sleep!
asleep that it won't think further of the unknown!
still That music is haunting that spirit inside me, begging me to play that craziest Chapter in my life that still to beplayed.....
That chapter that I didn't write with fear... ... with Measures...... with known Results......
And.......
AM I considering my options with "Chances"!

i've always been the kind of person to give people multiple chances
regardless of how badly the wound was that they previously left
but after awhile when i get so broken
i have to give up and let them go
so please dont ever say i give up too easily
because i have never done that
don't wear me down and blame me for cutting those strings
i have my reasons for burning bridges
and if you aren't gonna let it go until i tell you then so be it

i got so emotionally drained and i felt like a walking zombie
being friends with that toxicity of a human
i did such terrible things and outside of that state i would've never done them
but the biggest reasons i cant do it
no human should get blamed for a suicide attempt
especially if they are just trying to help
no 13 year old should have to take away her friends scissors
because she won't quite cutting in school
nobody should break at the sight of a human

no human should have to go through that
and then feel the need to turn around with a smile and keep helping
so when i say i cant do it
i cant go back to that
don't torment me and make fun about it
because i don't have enough of me to go through that again
im done giving chances to the person that made my soul shatter through a phone call or a letter from the psychiatric unit
im sorry but im out of chances

I showed you my heart,
Please respond

~Robert van Lingen

You are more than                          Enough
Sometimes I think           For          Me you
                           Are too much
First you were my crush now you are my




        Love


It’s scary to love you sometimes
The feeling of uncertainty, forces me to feel insecurity, but your love comforts me
And you gave me pages to write in your book of love               Fantasy

I took the pages and wrote us a Novel, now we read about love and what it means to be lovers

Thanks to you I walked out of my


Comfort zone

And now I don’t feel alone

Thanks to you my heart will never feel


(Alone)