An old man sits in an even older rocking chair.
His skin was midnight, as was his hair once upon a time
When it had adorned his head
Within its very curl was a diamond, a ruby,
Like the crown of the richest king

But now the only thing that curled
Was his back
Hunched in that old chair
You couldn’t tell by looking at it
But it was once a strong body

Yes, the old man was young once
He was strong,
He was beautiful
He was proud
As he should be

But he was too strong
His exterior was that of ice and steel
Not the fieriest touch
Nor the most jagged of cries
Could penetrate

And he was too beautiful
His boisterous laugh, his perfect smile
Most found loud
Obtuse
And blinding

His greatest sin was his pride
He thought himself a mountain
Indomitable
But when the valley burned
All he could do was watch

The old man sits in the even older rocking chair
Weak, ugly, and disgraced
He once dared to think
God was proud to have made this body
He wondered what He thought of him now

What happened to you?
You were as strong as a granite rock
full of cracks, sparkly corners
yet strong and dense

What happened to you?
your heart was the therapist for others
immune to unexpected skipped beats

What happened to you?
You had it all planned
the blueprint, the 3D module
even the prize at the end

What happened to you?
You never needed anyone
you never cared

What happened to you?
You loved how big your bed was
versus how empty it is now

What happened to you?
You embraced your determination
then suddenly got sidetracked
by a passerby

What happened to you?
You learned the art of seduction
and heartbreak and inflicted it
now what?

What happened to you?
is the feeling of being alone haunting you?
is age creeping up on you like a perverted
murderer
wanting to slice years off of your life
without you even noticing?

What’s going on?
is this what you want to do?
stand up, from that chair of yours
grab your bag, take a step towards the door
and look back
marvel at that empty chair
and praise your God that it won’t ****
the life
out of
you

Get
out
while you
Still
Can

I walk tall
I am the final piece
Straps and metal
switch the queen
check mate  
I wear the crown
like thorns
hiss of iron
sickly heat
I am the final piece
Closing door
veil is leather
not my mask
but yours
I am the final piece
The chimney
stench of roast
vessel for your volts
I am the final piece
Charred puppet
dancing feat
I am the final piece
I am the final peace

Temple in my mind
Simple tear in vain
Strap me in the chair
Intimidate the pain

Trip the ******* switch
Flickers come the light
My death is in the air
Murdered by your sight

well I was sitting out back underneath the stars
Take in a couple of swigs play a couple of bars
Wonder where the time went and who's praying for me
I know somebody's gotta be praying for me.

So I'm feeling faux pa and bored with friends
angry with neighbors lonesome crowded winds
blowin me down like an eight mile island
I can't see out of the car I'm driving
but I can tell the future's not exciting
I work tomorrow then I'll strum my guitar
but not much to keep me out of the bars
cept poverty **** and writing in cars

So now I'm sittin out back underneath the stars
Take a couple of swigs eat a couple a bars
Wonder where the time went praying for you
I'm Still on my knees just praying for you

Well I don't know what I'm talkin about
Just wrote a couple songs and I'm spit'n em out
Ain't worth $hit and my brains on drought
but I, Should I, Reason my doubt...?
I'll drop a couple of classes I'm going for broke
Hit my head on the bad lands buried the Pope
stuck my nose in the air like I was downing a Coke
When I woke up in evening I hadn't gotten too far
They took an empty spot next to me at the bar

So Sitting out back underneath the stars
Take a couple of wigs take a couple of cars
Wander in the barn house pray Mr. Blue
huffing the Gasoline Praying for you

i've reverted back to the days when
i held a permanent position
in between the arms of an
ugly, paisley patterned easy chair.

i played a game of hide and seek--
hiding from feelings, sought only by others
to prove that i had some semblance of humanity
lurking behind my blank eyes.

those days were dark, angry
as they ate me up, gathering every drop
of my existence like a sponge

fast forward: i'm far away and
mom says the chair is gone.
what should have felt like anguish
feels like nothing.

all the feelings are in the chair
like coins hidden in the couch cushions,
gone before we recognized their existence.

i've reverted back to the days when
i held a permanent position
in between the arms of an
ugly, paisley patterned easy chair,

but now the chair is gone
and i am left to soak up the feelings.

An empty chair
In the center of a dark room
Filled with tormented souls
Thinking of the ******
The lost
The forgotten.
The empty chair
There to remind them
Of all their loss
All of their grief
An empty chair
That used to be occupied
In a bright room
Filled with lively souls
Thinking of futures
Of universes
Of stars
An empty chair that once held hope.

I cant drown them they can swim and,
I cannot simply float here much longer, they pull me down under,
only barely leaving my lips ,
touching the air.

and the air above,
is trying to let me breath,
Let me live,
but I can’t,
they wont let me,
they know how to steal the air,
and its almost like,
trying not to drown,
by trying to breath,
even though you know,
you cant breath,
so whats left?
just death?

The pain givers live in me,
they have stolen my heart,
and made it there home,
but that was not enough to stop at,
they get worse and worse,
and spread to the head,
to your brain,
and then in that event,
they go into your blood,
and thought stream,

and The Pain Givers,
travel and travel,
though my body,
and the are in every inch of me now,
and the cause me to hurt myself,
in ways that could really hurt,
if I wasn’t under this spell,

Now I’m scared,
and crazy,
and I cant turn to anyone,
I get so mad in my head,
“the PAIN GIVERS HURT ME!”
I scream in my head,
so no one can hear,
as they make me,
sink this knife into my skin,
now I have to hide,
the damage they did,

Now I act crazy and I stay alone,
who would want to be my friend,
I don’t talk to people any more,
I leave myself alone,
with my pain giver,
all the old name calling,
and broken promises,
stolen hopes and dreams,
and you don’t even have a right,
to say anyone understands,

I have no time to run away,
Part because I’m lazy,
part because I don’t know where to go,
and this sickness outside me,
kills me within,
and you don’t want to see,
the tears I have cried,
I don’t wear make up anymore,
and I carry eye drops,
so I can fix my eyes,
before someone will know.

I was that 14 year old girl,
who was forced to tear down,
her Christmas lights,
and tie myself around the neck,
I wrote a note saying,
my pain givers are hurting me,
mommy are you proud,
look at your child,
but its not your all your fault it,
was also this world of an awful race, now with my hands shaking wild,
I stood up on the chair,
and look down and my feet
and smiled,

then I kicked the chair over,
and took my final breath,
and now I’m just hanging there,
dead and alone,
Saying to the angel,
thank you for answering my preyers,
And getting me out,
But the angel smiles back,
The same smile of my pain giver,
And even in death I still cry,
*** my death will not satisfy me.