Of all the flowers, I relate most to the rose
Because everyone who touches her bleeds.
I always thought that it was nature’s way of evening things out
Even the most beautiful creations must have their flaws
And so roses have their thorns,
They hurt everything they touch,
And that is life.

I realize now that the thorns are there to protect the rose
Because leaving something so delicate without defenses
Must be a sin.
And just like a rose, I am soft,
And my thorns wouldn’t hurt everyone around me
If they didn’t handle me so carelessly.
If they were gentle, and kind, and not constantly trying
To take a cutting for their own,
I would not have to defend myself.
It is not my fault that people cut themselves on my broken pieces:
It is their fault for being careless.

I don't know where I'm going wrong.
I do things that make me happy.
I surround myself with people who make me feel good about myself.
But, I don't feel good about myself.
I do my best to treat myself with kindness but the bad thoughts won't go away.
I have the deepest conversations with myself yet I can't even begin to express to another person exactly how I feel.
Do I feel too much?
To deeply?
Too carelessly?
I can talk about the things I've experienced but I can not communicate what it did to me.
I don't understand what I'm doing wrong,
when I'm trying everything in my capability to do right.
I don't know what to do,
I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm hurting far beyond what I let people see,
I don't know where I learned that,
but I really wish I wasn't like that.
To feel everything, but absolutely nothing at all is a ******* curse.

There are moments where I am helpless.
Like my mind has separated from my body,
and I watch myself fall,
unable to help.
My body is dangling over a mountain,
and no matter how many times I try to grab my own hand,
my fingers simply slip through my own like a ghost.
I sit, cross-legged and aghast, as I watch
myself plummet from the highest mountain.
And at the bottom, I watch the circle of people
surrounding my dismembered body
slowly walk away without a care.
I stare at my annihilation until my mind
stands over the edge and
gracefully dives down to join my body.

-abc

Wandering and loudly dreaming,
Think I better than believing,
Any stray path, so deceiving,
No matter how brightly clear,

Walking further calm and breathing,
Air so sweet and smoke misleading,
Never shall it spark the meaning,
That so often comes with fear.


Paradise is where I'm striding,
Whether downpour or sun be shining,
And I don't find myself denying,
The cost of my freedoms gleam,

To hell, to fire or to battle,
Towards the snake's tail that rattles,
When the mirror finally shatters,
You too will know, it's just a dream.

inhaling the third time, it hits me
giddy and careless, i smile
there's no where else i'd rather be
just here
with you
under this umbrella in the pouring rain
my clothes are still getting wet
but it doesn't matter
nothing does right now
nothing matters