In a perfect world
where the best version
of me exist,

I will not lack love
nor friendship

That me would
not be devoid of myself
Nor i need
The never-ending self reassurances

Dear lover,
How are you? From the looks of it you're happier than ever.
I have never seen you smile the way you do now that you're with her.
She looks so sweet and so kind, and I am so happy for you.
Yet my heart still aches for you lover, my body still craves the feeling of your skin. My mouth is withdrawing from the taste of your lips, and my hair hasn't felt the same since you last ran your fingers through it. You look like you're drinking less, you look like you're spending time doing things that genuinely bring you happiness, my only question is why couldn't it have been with me?

No Attention
you told us goodbye.
we said “see you later.”

only
we didn’t know what "later" meant.

you just smiled,
and waved us away.

the next weekend,
we were visiting you up north.

only this time we understood,
what your goodbye meant.

I’m sorry we didn’t pay any attention.
When we definitely should have.

Only then you wouldn’t have jumped.

It flickers
on the screen
the last
of what
was soon to be
amazing things

those dreaded words slip off my lips again,
oh why does this keep happening?
i open up my heart just to feel more pain,
by now this wound is far too deep.

"i love you",
i say a million times,
"i'll see you soon",
i hope it's not a lie,
"goodbye",
i say with deep agony.

our final words,
lets make them count.
our final breaths,
let's not waste them.

goodbye, my friend.

I always pray that it will never come to this
But if the day ever comes
when the last petal falls
I will be hiding far away from myself

The morning it falls
Ill starve myself and lock the door
Carve my self from you and all of your senses
On the stomach you always touch up all the way to my throat

The evening sun
Will take me to the kitchen where i used to prepare my love
How do i do things i do without you?
Everything without you left quite an ugly bitter aftertaste

I am thinking baby maybe
Ill keep myself away
From all the bottled red and blue on the shelves
But now, now could i even tell what is real and what is not?

On that day
I will cry myself a stellar river
Drowning every inch of my sense
Will it clean myself from you?

In another live
I will put everything on the line
That time around
I'll make sure that
I don’t have to write this stupid poem

gave up sweet months of time to be by your side
and for what?
for what conversation did we ever had that changed me for the better?
your taste in everything was politically vanilla
you fetishized my looks to the point of my own self-destruction
you made me question every flaw that fell outside the coloring book lines of
Your Dream Girl

our relationship was
sweet n’ low
i’m still looking for the real sugar