I want to get out
To run away.
Far from here.
Far from you.
But you are a mirage that travels with me,
A line of coke the addict can't fight.
You steal inside me, like a bear in winter.
You are biding your time,
As I bide mine.
For the fight.
The eventual fire of our meeting, yet again.

It's the same fight.
The same surrender,
Again and again.
A repeating cycle of fists thrown backward against the wall.

Tell me if you have time for this, still,
After all these years,
Because I'm not so sure that I do,
Anymore.
I'm not so sure that I owe you the audience.

Stop traveling with me.
Stop biting me with your sharp claws
And even more twisted stipulations.
I'm over you.
At least I think I am.
At least I'd like to be.

Why can't you be water under the bridge?
Evaporated under a resilient pink sky.
Why can't I be the pink sky?
Soaring over everything that is temporary.

One day I will be.
I know I will.
I just wish it was today.
But instead
I wait in trepidation for tomorrow.
I wait for the day that your shadow stops stalking me,
The day your voice stops echoing in my ears.
Won't the mirror break?
Won't you stop calling if I stop picking up the phone?
Only time will tell.
Only time knows your true power.
Or maybe you die with me.
Maybe you end when I end.

If that is so,
We have many more miles to fight.
Many more miles to see.
Many more fists to fly.

I just wish you would surrender.
I just wish you would surrender so I didn't have to.
Why can't you be the half that breaks?
Permanently this time.
I'm begging you, break away from me.
Break into pieces.
Break, so I no longer have to.

i'm a mess and i'm still untangling the strings
breaking down walls
breathing
being
building.
i've shed layers of dead skin,
repaired the broken
but never healing all at once...
never coming together the way i should
never falling apart when i'm ready to
never breaking at the right angles
that make it clean enough
to pick up after myself.

If you'll pardon the intoxicated indigestion
I have a rather erratic, dogmatic question:
If I woke up in the morning and I were broken
If I have used my last lucky little token
Would you love me still?
Would you join for the thrill?
Would you stay for the past
Or admit it couldn't last?

Time is flying, and I'm tired of trying
To pretend I can't taste the sand.
I loved you through everything
I held you through broken wing
If it were my turn because I wouldn't learn
And had to burn to understand
Would you still hold my hand?

Find a love so deep,
Find a life so neat,
Find the challenge and the heat.
Feel the cold and the warm,
Feel the quite and the storm.
And fall apart with the pressure and the noise,
Fall apart with every second that it toys.
Fall apart with the struggles of the beat,
Fall apart with the tunnel vision and the seat.
But know your soul feel the fire burning cold,
Know your soul be loving and be bold.
Know your soul be the love you know you have,
Know your soul dont be a mother who is sad.
Fix yourself bring the energy back,
Fix yourself stop going so black.
Fix yourself take the anger out,
Fix yourself stop carrying doubt.
But most of all its ok to fall,
But most of all carry your family tall,
But most of all love with it all.
Then give it back with a love more deep,
Then give it back with a life of more heat.

You will never break me
I can do that by myself
I’ve seen in my life’s undertaking
There’s very chances at help

Every moment is waking
Even when eyes are closed
As I slumber, the ground is quaking
What I’ll wake to, I don’t know

There will always be this fear
Just in different increments
Anxiety dwelling near
And the things it presents

No pity is wanted
This is said for understanding
There caverns of my mind are haunted
By wound, by weight, by branding

Don’t even try to push me
I am falling just fine
I’m not expecting any cushioning
But there’s a slight hope I’ll fly

The wings have yet to sprout out
Whether they will or not, who knows
We all crash, of that there is no doubt
But from it, not all of us grow

When they say my name I hope you hear waterfalls; my face flooding your entire brain. When you hear my name I hope you think of glass breaking and you picture my hands, scratched and bleeding, putting it all back together again. When you say my name, I hope you hear laughter. I hope you see smiles. And despite all my countless flaws, I hope you think of me when you want someone to stay awhile. When they say my name I hope it reminds you of breaking and healing all in one breath. When you think of me I hope you feel warm. I hope I’m someone you never regret.