I didn't know
why leaving
appear so attractive
to me
but then
I always
see myself
coming back
to you
over
and over
again.

"We're drifting apart,"
said the earth to the moon.

"We've been through so much, hm?"
replied the moon to earth.
"It'll be glum to go,
but sadly I must now."

"Why? Please don't go away,"
begged the earth to the moon.
"I will miss you for sure."

"And I will too," said moon
and earth silently sobbed.

"4.5 billion years,
for what?" The earth whimpered.

"I can't love you anymore."

"If I could say the same."

"..."

I won't pretend that you don't haunt my dreams,
that the worst of nightmares aren't filled with your screams,
but if you do ask me, then I'll lie and I'll say,
that at least you don't haunt me, during the day.

“Hush..hush..hush”


Well not today, my lovely, darling, babe...

These stitches you lovingly laced in my lips,
I'm throwing them away.

Along with the fluttering butterflies, long dead anyways,
Saccharine smiles, wilted rose bouquets,

Looks like it's about to rain.

But I brought an umbrella, what about you?

What a shame, your suit is brand new!

And you just got your hair done today?

How could this happen to you?
,    ,     ,
  ,     ,     ,
,    ,    ,
   ,     ,   ,


I wonder if these raindrops remember us,

How it was,
Before it wasn't,

Before dancing in the rain drowned in the flood,
And love wasn't lost in the waves.

Sharks haunt these waters now,
Flattery lining their fangs,

Looking for starry-eyed babes in the wood to play with and entertain.
.
.
.
Until you don't care anymore,
And I'm here to look pretty and brighten your day.

But I still have something to say, my love,
For I've finally grown my own fangs.
And I'm tired of being a pretty show dog,
Tired of being contained.

One day, you'll look around and see that you're missing someone, something,
And I'll be happy, dancing, beloved, far far away,

And you'll be in some pain,

And It'll be far too late,

But maybe then you'll realize what you let wash away.

I've resorted to magic
To the mysteries of the universe
To everything intangible
Just to try to rid myself of you.
No matter,
I still wake up  
Thinking of all the sunsets driving across Wyoming,
Falling asleep at abandoned rest areas,
Waking up in deep thicket.
You were by my side.
life flows on
things change,
People grow,
Together,
Apart.
I imagine getting over you is supposed to be like this grand amazing thing,
I wake up in the morning and dance in my underwear,
The sun is shining, my favorite songs play on the radio, my coffee is perfect,
Maybe my chest feels a little lighter.
But I know now
It's really like watching a profound festering wound
Sluggishly pull itself together.
I know that faint scar will just become another constellation
Connecting the freckles I religiously trace with my fingers.
You will just be a story,
Something told but repeatedly forgotten,
The bits and pieces of you staying with shards of my memory
I have been throwing away since I was 7.
I'd like to think of you as a warning,
Something i've survived,
thickened my skin,
Made me a wizened bard crowing under the moonlight.
Knowing you forced me to shake,
Rattle myself from the confines of a skin
That just wasn’t fitting anymore.
Perhaps you should be thanked,
Perhaps applauded,
You moved a ******* mountain.

Hello,
How are you?
I hope you are well.
I have tried so hard
To reach you.

Hello,
I just thought
That I'd call
To make sure you're
Doing Alright.

Are we really not gonna talk
Again?
It's been too long,
That's why I called.

And I heard that
You're getting married,
I hope he's really nice
To you.

But are we really not gonna talk
Again?
It's been too long.
And we were happy.
Do you remember?

Please, let's not do this.
Please.
Hello. Goodbye.
Please reply.

"Do you want to be with me"
sorry I don't know what to say--
as I hold their hand, it ripples
it is the rush of anxiety
but feels like water combing through my hands
as I get shampoo out of my hair; in the shower.  

There is a tremble in their breath
reminding me of catching droplets of water
in the canal of my ear
and having to tilt my head
for them to drop back into obscurity.

Their smell is fresh an aroma so soothing
feeling the clean scent of oranges and apples
a flourishing sample I briefly enjoy
when I pour a quarter sized dollop of shower gel.

Their eyes are watery
while they struggle to hide the parchness of their smile
is a somber reflection of hot water running out
and not having any heat left to turn towards
so the only option
is to get out of the shower.  

Their words are mumbled, but I can understand "why"
trying to hide the shakiness in their hands and breath
I can't help but imagine the endorphin's frantically
trying to take control; to fight or flight--  
A similar feeling I have when rushing
to get warm after a cold shower.

No one in the world could ever compare to her eyes,
they were green and brown and deceiving.
She'd stand tall in her confident frame and smile.
Oh her smile, there was nothing more beautiful and deadly.
Everything she did had a purpose
none of which came from the kindness of her heart.
She loved so hard that was her plan,
love hard **** harder.

One word and the room stops,
She takes you by the neck and slowly
gently squeezes all the air out of you.
And you have no choice but to love every second of it.
If you're lucky, she'll love you,
If you were luckier, she wouldn't.
You'd be left with agonizing thoughts of why she never did
but at least, you'd be saved from the pain of knowing why she did.

k.y